Friday, May 26, 2006

Soul Patrol

Word up ho, it's me Jim Tressel, Coach Jim Tressel. I've been so busy with stupid work stuff lately. It seems like every time I try to sit down and relax, some moron screws shit up and I've got to go and serve up some of my signature ass kick salad. Gee wiz, it just got to be too much so I decided to slow it down a little. I locked the door to my office, cleared all the spank mags off of my desk, got out my pencil and lit up a joint. So before this pile of awesome hits wax, here's my newest slice of lyrical street wisdom.

makin' queens of the galaxy scream
look at my pants they're starting to steam
sometimes I like em' chubby when I'm drinkin' jim beam
got more sweat on my hog than Barbarino or Epstein
so welcome back, put you face on my sack
here's a razor-shave the hair off my back
dropped my pants-now its time to attack
I'm droppin bombs on your face like a kid in irac
the big red vest is better than the rest
my hands are tired from signin' big ol' breasts
please give it a rest if that bush is a mess
The coach's got no time to mess with a crow's nest
believe what you hear-the rumors aren't fake
my dick's like a snake thet swallowed a rake
all the pretty ladies can't wait to partake
if I don't slow down my dick is gonna break



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pure,amazing, blessed street knowledge. Your words speak much larger than 50, I don't see how he won that fucking award.

11:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't get all of the references to pussy and titties? I thought you were into cock?

6:31 AM  
Anonymous Ron said...

Why do you waste your time coaching when you can create masterpieces stringing words together like you do? Fucking incredible the shit you lay down.

8:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coach, you speak the truth. C Jimmy T is mad realer than 4 bits.

5:23 AM  
Anonymous O. T. Mary said...

tight, too tight. more please.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn Jimmy T, that shit is tight!

10:20 PM  

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