Thursday, March 16, 2006

Look at my fat fucking cat!


I'm really worried about the Buckster. Ever since his old lady skipped town, he's done nothing but eat Ringdings and watch Maury Povich. Speaking of which, that Maury Povich is a sick fuck. Truly the most evil person on this planet, yesterday's episode was "My Baby's Daddy, just Might be my Daddy." I'll be honest, it made me want to put a gun in my mouth, that's how fucking sad it made me feel for humanity. But that was a breif stint of suicidal tendency. Bucky's been on suicide watch for the last three weeks. Clarette doesn't help much; he's been hanging around alot, as well. The other day I came home from a recruiting trip, and Bucky and Clarette are on my couch, eatin' Ringdings, drikin' Shclitz. The place reeked of skunk-ass dirt weed. Enough was enough. I was like, "Get a job....both of you! Quick mopin' around and feelin sorry for yourselves already." Man, the two of them are just not good for each other at all. Talk about your co-dependencies. I think Maurice and Bucky have both pretty much given up. Maurice said he's just gonna eat Hostess snack cakes until he's fat enough to qualify for workman's comp, an Idea I think he got from an episode of Maury Povich. He's also talking about jumping in front of cars and suing the people that hit him. Another idea from Maury Povich.

Can cat's file for workman's comp? How do they fill out the forms without opposable thumbs. That sound's like another episode of Maury Povich. "My cat is so disgustingly obese, he want's to file workman's comp." Could be good. Those two need to get laid, seriously. Only problem is I don't think the Buckster could find his pecker.

Pray for them.

17 Comments:

Anonymous Chris said...

Sorry to here the news about the Buckster. I don't however care about Clarett. He can go jump off a fucking building for all I care. Maybe he can take Waffles with him although the misses might be upset and take your hovercraft away. We all know thats sweet as hell.

6:29 PM  
Blogger Mentos Fillapeedios said...

I think that cat is a dog.

7:59 PM  
Blogger Yost said...

Bad news, Coach. Your site is so damn funny, we couldn't resist putting up a link to it on our site...which is a Michigan site. Sorry about that. Please don't run us down with your hovercraft.

10:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Coach! I just rubbed one out looking at a picture of your daughter!

5:45 AM  
Anonymous Snuffy said...

I agree completly, everyday I watch Oscar just sit around and complain, and I'm like, fucking get a job you over-sized douche bag.

9:18 PM  
Anonymous The Sam said...

Yost is a whore, don't advertise your site on the site of a man who has absolute hate for your school. Do you have any integrity at all? Fuck you and your hockey.
"Please don't run us down with your hovercraft." What kind of gay ass attempt at comedy is that? Men like you are why I almost kill myself around "The Game" time when I live here in Ann Arbor. Can any Michigan fan make a joke. "Ohio State's like a hoover vacuum, they suck!" I heard that 17 times the week before that matchup.
People always like "You're gonna get jumped if you keep wearing that Ohio State sweater." Fuck that, I might have to jump the bus driver for acting like he can keep me from getting on the bus, and then giving me that piece of shit insult. Fuck him, fuck them, and fuck you too Yost. Hockey sucks.

7:39 PM  
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6:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell us about One Tit Mary!

And for God's sake, don't like Clarett around your place anymore. I was totally at a pawn shop last know when some black dude in sunglasses came in and hocked a "Youngstown Coach Of The Year Jim Tressel" trophy.

He got $95, which immediately he took across the street to Popeye's and spent.

12:47 PM  
Blogger Best Vest said...

Racist.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's racist about it?

I was just surprised Clarett went over there, after they dropped his endorsement deal after the whole "armed robbery" thing. You think a family restaurant like Popeye's would stick by a man when he's down on his luck like that.

Now the only thing Ol' Mo endorses is the back of checks he's stolen from the old ladies who walk at the mall.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you were reported in SI this week. Congrats, you hit the big time.

12:29 PM  
Blogger Mentos Fillapeedios said...

Yes, that is true. Tons of people will read that article and look at this site and realize how cool Coach really is. You see, most people think Coach Tressell is a nerdy football coach that wears a sweater vest. Now they will learn the truth about how he is a pretty good rapper and a lover of animals.

9:46 PM  
Anonymous Dazed and Confused said...

Where, I'm lookin' but I just don't see it.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Mentos Fillapeedios said...

to dazed and confused,

3/27/06 Sports Illustrated

page 63

"... a mock blog about the Ohio State football coach headlined, IF JIM TRESSEL WERE AN EVIL GILA MONSTER)"

That is horseshit since this is not a mock. But I say let people think that. Of course, this is real. Why would Coach Tressel write fake stuff about himself? I mean, c'mon now!

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

3:28 AM  
Anonymous kamagra gel said...

I've never seen something like that before! I can't believe those imagines... it's a cat, but seems like a tiger or something like worse! Does he used photoshop? 23jj

7:00 AM  
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10:52 PM  

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