Look at my fat fucking cat!

I'm really worried about the Buckster. Ever since his old lady skipped town, he's done nothing but eat Ringdings and watch Maury Povich. Speaking of which, that Maury Povich is a sick fuck. Truly the most evil person on this planet, yesterday's episode was "My Baby's Daddy, just Might be my Daddy." I'll be honest, it made me want to put a gun in my mouth, that's how fucking sad it made me feel for humanity. But that was a breif stint of suicidal tendency. Bucky's been on suicide watch for the last three weeks. Clarette doesn't help much; he's been hanging around alot, as well. The other day I came home from a recruiting trip, and Bucky and Clarette are on my couch, eatin' Ringdings, drikin' Shclitz. The place reeked of skunk-ass dirt weed. Enough was enough. I was like, "Get a job....both of you! Quick mopin' around and feelin sorry for yourselves already." Man, the two of them are just not good for each other at all. Talk about your co-dependencies. I think Maurice and Bucky have both pretty much given up. Maurice said he's just gonna eat Hostess snack cakes until he's fat enough to qualify for workman's comp, an Idea I think he got from an episode of Maury Povich. He's also talking about jumping in front of cars and suing the people that hit him. Another idea from Maury Povich.

Can cat's file for workman's comp? How do they fill out the forms without opposable thumbs. That sound's like another episode of Maury Povich. "My cat is so disgustingly obese, he want's to file workman's comp." Could be good. Those two need to get laid, seriously. Only problem is I don't think the Buckster could find his pecker.

Pray for them.