Travelin' Man
Hey there, Tresselheads. It's me Tressel, Coach Jimmy Tressel. Missed me? I bet you did. I've had a whole big bunch of soul searching to do this year and decided to just hit the road and see what this great country of ours is all about. I roughed it in a Winnebago with the kids and Mrs. T. Some legal problems I ran into also made it a good time to disappear.
I left my laptop at home but got some great shots on my digital camera:
That's one mother of a trophy they'll never take away from me. Anyway that's all for today. Feel free to ask some non-football related questions and i'll try and answer the worthy ones. Have a safe memorial day fuckers.
posted by Jimmy Tressel at 3:04 PM
260 Comments:
you were missed...
missed like all that fucking money I had on your Fuckeyes. The Gators schooled you so hard some of your players actually graduated. My only solace is that UM did much worse (although, still a lot better than FIU's 0-12).
I'd say you owe me some cash, but legal problems come first, and Dateline sure ain't cheap.
Keep on rockin' Coach.
Yes! Coach is back.
I am sorry I lashed out at you a couple months ago. I was going through a tough time because my son got in trouble at school for cursing in a classroom. I don't know where he learned it from. Maybe this site? LOL!
Anyway, I had to go to school and talk to his teacher and principal.
So that may me very irate when I logged onto this site.
From the Harris family to yours- Have a happy, healthy, and enjoyable Memorial Day weekend.
Patrick Harris: douche.
I feel the pressure building. I will finish my beer. That should be the final push, so to speak.
This shall be a nice, fine shit tonight.
June 2
(I shall date my posts now, as to keep an online shit diary for my own use and your delight. I believe my previous post was from Thursday, May 30.)
all hail the Cavaliers! At least some team can win a title in Ohio!
Well maybe they will lose the championship game just like the Buckeyes.
Oh, it's June 5, 2007 at 7am.
thanks for the season tickets. still on for that fishing trip?
hey Coach, this site is hot.
I am lonely right now in jail. Are you up for a conjugal visit?
Coach, when are you & Maurice gonna bust me out of rehab?
Your gal,
Lindsay
Can I watch?
Dear Ms. Hilton,
I want to have a conjigal visit with you. I would do you right, honey.
Whoa, nelly!
Howdy folks,
It sure has been a while since I last posted. I have been shitting well during my absence.
On tonight's menu is a nice, rotund shit. I can feel this one entering the shit zone. In about 10 minutes I will go to my bathroom and spend a quality half hour enjoying.
Oh, right now it is June 25 at 9:30pm.
I kept a shit diary of this month. So far I have shit 18 times. One of those times I jerked off while shitting. I was drunk that afternoon.
Hey, Coach...
You got a job opening? I could really use one.
Howdy folks,
That was a nice 40-minute ass blast. The actual shitting did not take 40 minutes. I stayed on the can extra to finish reading.
June 26
9:18 pm
Paris Hilton gives me wood.
I had a nice, solid shit tonight. Real quality stuff. I've really been blowin' them out good lately.
By the way, Paris Hilton? Yes, I'd fuck her.
Finally, funny story here. I was in the copy room at work today. Two female interns came in while I was making copies. A couple farts slipped out and I didn't give a fuck. One thing you folks know about me is that I don't care about farts and shits.
June 28
11:40pm
Greg Oden to Portland and Mike Conley to Memphis. What say you, Tressel?
I feel a master blaster coming on.
July 1
8pm
Hey Coach, me and Troy and Teddy was just bustin up cause we can't remember the names of the QBs this year! Brockman? Showanddice? Ha ha ha! We all knew the RB, the beast. We better practice some run blocking this summer, in case he needs it.
Oh, and that Tony S, we could use his butthole at WR, cause only his gaping ass will be able to catch those passes (like it does friday nights)! Go bucks!
anonymous,
I am actually a good football player. I played some RB at a Division II school back in the day.
My ass is of a normal size. It if was bigger I would probably have shorter shit sessions. Fortunately, I have never been in prison. Thus, my ass is still in great shape.
I feel a mastodon shit brewing. This is going to be special. I'll have some fireworks in my bathroom in a few moments. Then I will have a few beers and watch the fireworks display in my town.
July 3, 2007
9:25pm
Hey Tressel, it is July 6 now and Ohio state still sucks more than Michigan,
Of course, got my knob slobbed tonight. The Ol' Jumbo Jimbo.
I drank 4 Red Bulls tonight, got the ol' jumbo knob slobbed and then still maintained the boner. It was also some of my best cum ever. Stringy, solid white with real power behind it.
Great times, great times.
Not quite sure who is the bigger douche.
Solomon for writing about his cum and naming his penis after himself. I mean, I gave mine a female name- I thought that is what all guys do.
Or is it Sullivan for writing constantly about his own bowel movements.
Bring back Steven Swain. He is much better than the Jew team of Solomon and Sullivan.
To Bill,
I don't see you expounding any great words of wisdom here, so fuck you.
To the guy posting as me,
I actually found that to be a bit amusing, probably because I am not gay one bit. I suppose if I was gay, that post may have bothered me.
Try ahead, douchebag.
By the way, I had my first diarrhea tonight in quite some time. I don't like the feeling before getting on the toilet. But getting that liquidy solid into the toilet is always fun.
7/16
10:43 pm
I make a poo poo and a doo doo doo doo.
I'm working on a mastodon shit tonight (I explained what they are in a comment I made here a couple months ago).
They are maybe my favorite types of shits although they require not shitting for at least 48 hours.
Some other types of shits-
Potato
Floating Mary
Slider
Two Wiper
I'll finish this later, I have to shit.
By the way, Britney Spears- want to hook up. You can shit on my chest and then we'll fuck with the shit still on my chest.
This blog has really gone down the toilet so to speak. I am dissapointed with Coach Tressel again. Would it kill him to post once in a while?
So there I was in work today having a discussion with a coworker in my office. I had the door open when we were talking about what we should get for lunch. Two young female interns walked by right as I said, "I'm just trying to think what food I want to shit out later. KFC would give me a good solid shit, but Taco Bell could really fuck me up, although that would be kind of cool in work."
The chicks heard all of it because there was no other noise nearby.
I wound up getting KFC. I took a nice solid healthy shit in the afternoon.
July 23
7:03 pm
Also, Bill, I am not any "type of guy". I am that of which cannot be determined.
For everyone else- I'm going to try to fart on some of the interns this week. I won't be able to fart this morning since I am out of shit. I will build up some juice after lunchtime, however.
I'll let you know what happens.
July 24
7am
You can tell I'm having fun. Just look at the size of my balls.
What up, y'all?
I just came back to inform you all I just got laid tonight!
Who's laughing now?
Dear Mr. Tressel,
Please don't even consider ever taking an NFL job. I'll suspend you based on the vile which is your blog. The insane acts of debauchery which you engage in is not the kind of image my league wants to put out there.
I'm sure you will do what is best and stay in the college game.
If I go to that game this year, sure, we'll meet up.
I'll wipe the floor with you.
July 29
9:58 am
zI make zero comments about flatulence but I easily suck dick of Tressel for free corn
Uh oh, I feel a pre-work diarrhea coming on.
August 3
6:45am
I can stance raining ass
on the one ode to oats
1 can teem a lot of sudder feet
Mosey on down the street
I'm running to catch your folder
Yeah I'm in your folder
I'm running against the toad
To kettle the moonbeams of love
To Tony Sullivan,
I want to thank you for talking about shit in a humorous way and for being very open about shitting especially with your co-workers. I had always been very shit shy at work. I never went at work ever, in fact. Now I am 32 years old and I took two shits at work recently.
Thanks again
Hey Tressel,
Can you please update this blog? I'm sick of reading about Tony Sullivan's bowel movements and I'm sick of reading comments from anonymous pussies complaining about other posters.
I'm a tit machine.
I'll admit it. I just come here for the fuckin'.
I'm gonna be runnin around naked up in this bitch when the first game is played.
Re: that girl
That's hot, baby. I wouldn't mind you doing that to me.
I'll even let you suck on the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo, if you know what I mean.
My farts smell like freshly cut dandelions.
Re: the girl, Jim Solomon
You two assholes should get a room. Also, I bet Solomon's cock couldn't hold a candle to mine. I believe, like everyone else, that Solomon's cock is probably in the 2-3 inch range. Nobody with a big cock would have to brag about it on the internet. That's word so respect.
Howdy all,
I have a massive thunderous turd to unload. This is going to be mega. I saved it all day in work because I really want to enjoy this one. I want to revel in it. I'm even taking two beers into the bathroom with me. Then I'll drink some more and watch some Monday night football. Great night!
August 20
7:22pm
Oh, good gravy, was that an exhilirating shit. I had to cut it up with a plastic knife so it would not clog the toilet.
August 22
9:08pm
Actually the time and date should have read:
August 20
9:08pm
this place used to be awesome. no wonder coach doesnt update on here anymore. it really sucks now.
Okay, Solomon. Everything is cool again.
To all,
I had a cheesesteak for dinner. Then I had ice cream. I was farting up a fuckin' storm!
I then took a wonderful dump. I mean, just phenomenal. I spent a half hour reveling in that shit experience. Great looking turds, nice smell, good magazine reading. Just a great experience. I hope I have one like that at work this week.
August 27
12:25 am
Coach,
My ass is yours.
Meet me in the 'shoe Friday night. I'll suck your cock while you update your blog.
Your gal,
Lindsay
Dear Lindsay,
Can I watch?
Don't ask me ... Jimmy T is the one in charge
PLEASE COME BACK COACH!
Yeah, but I literally want to pleasure him. I know you guys thought I was gay. Well, I finally recently came out of the closet here. Anything goes here, so why not try- Coach Jimmy Tressel- would you be interested in playing a dick game with me?
I do this with my boyfriend from time to time.
We get naked and stand in front of one another. We let our penises touch one another. The first guy's whose cock gets hard gets to be the guy who initiates the love making.
This game only works if both dicks are limp. We start from the bottom to the top so to speak- limp to rock hard.
Two limp dicks touching and then slowly getting hard is great. One time we tried to see if we could ejaculate without touching our dicks with one another's hands or mouth. We almost made it happen by basically slapping our dicks together. But then Roger couldn't take it anymore and he went down on me. I shot my load less than a minute later.
It is fun. I'd love for you to join me (or us), Coach. Once again, my number is 731-755-4569.
Thanks, Coach.
(forgot to post time in previous post)
I had a wonderful shit last night. I spent at least 30 minutes on the bowl. I did some drinkin' and readin' while shitting. Good times, good times.
September 1, 2007
12:38pm
Watching my first college game of season! Virginia Tech leads East Carolina 3-0 with 2:31 remaining in 1st quarter.
Hey Soloman,
Appalachian State 34
Michigan 32
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Hey Solomon,
Two words- suck it.
Yo, I'm back up in this mothafucka! What up peeps?
Yo, Frank- yo, word 'em up, just leave and do it now. We don't kick it gay like that here.
Jim Solomon- yo, what up, man? Michigan got beat-now that's what up!
I bet we won't be hearing from Solomon for at least a week.
Wait. That last post was actually from Shit Meister Joe Sullivan.
PART 1
LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!
You have to be kidding me, Swain. That was the most ridiculous thing anybody ever wrote here. Congrats, man. You reached a new low.
Were you high or drunk?
Finally, don't even try to impersonate me again. Everybody with functional brain cells knows a true Shit Wizard post when they see it.
PART 2
I dropped a nice duece before work on Thursday morning. I'm working on a nice one for Saturday morning. I went to Taco Bell at 9:00pm on Friday.
Now it is 1:19 am on Saturday. I'll go to bed. I'll wake up and have some eggs and then I'll go shit and watch college football. Shitting and football. It doesn't get much better.
September 8
1:19am
I want to dip my doughnut in Tressel's milk.
Where is Solomon? There he was all summer long running his mouthwhen he wasn't too busy eating matzho balls and gefilte fish. Now Michigan starts 0-2 and this bitch is nowhere to be found.
In similar news, it is good that that fairy Frank has not returned.
Hello all,
I have decided to no longer post here. It is apparent to me that the owner of this blog has decided to abandon it. I will no longer waste my time here.
Goodbye,
The Master of Shit, the Shit Wizard, the Sultan of Shit, King Shit
Tony Sullivan
September 16, 2007
10:48am
www.hatethesweatervest.com.
Fuck this.
I'm leaving, too.
This blog fuckin' blows because Tressel never updates it and we are losing the best posters from the comments section. Steve Swain hardly ever posts. What happened to that Bible thumper Patrick Harris? And Jew bagel Jim Solomon ran away after those two embarrassing Michigan losses. And now the star of the comments section, Tony Sullivan, has left.
Fuck this.
Bill, signing out for the final time here on September 21, 2007.
Maybe I'll post at www.hatethesweatervest.com and poke fun at this Tressel motherfucker.
By the way, I never really liked Ohio State. I'm more of a Nebraska fan, Tressel. Take that and shove it up your sweater vest ass.
I want Tressel to lay me and then call me loverneck and rosch.
It really sucks that all the cool niggas are leaving. Just when I discovered this site, it goes to hell. I'm on lockdown here in Ohio. You niggaz should rethink this whole thing and entertain this brotha.
I want to pet Jim Tressel
Pet him? Hell, I want to stick my flaming cock in his asshole as I squeeze his man tits.
RIP coach. RIP.
Coach coulda been a contenda!
Dead MF'er, RIP beeyotch.
Coach Tressel,
You look hot with a beard.
Dan Glenner- That's a bit disturbing. By my count that is 13 girls you whacked it to this month (the 11 you noted in the 2nd paragraph and the two from Tressel's beach photo). If those were all separate incidents you jerked off either 12 or 13 times (maybe you whacked it to the bikini girls at the same time).
How does your dick do it? I can only whack once a day, if that.
This month I played with myself four or five times. Alicia Keys and Michelle Monaghan were the sources. Monaghan will be on the Craig Ferguson program in maybe 10 minutes. I'm going to pull my dick out and get ready!
Dear Alex Zack,
How do I do it?
Answer- I don't anymore. On Monday after work I was tossing a football around in the parking lot. I could not throw good at all. I went to see a doctor on Tuesday night about it. I thought I may have torn my rotator cuff or some shit. It turns out my arm is nothing more than very sore. The doctor asked what I had been doing. I lied and said I was lifting weights. He told me to take it easy for a week.
You know how there is fiddler's elbow and swimmer's ear? I guess you can say I have masturbator's arm.
stop it! srop it please. do you guys realise that whenever I check here for more Treessel posts I read these messages? and you guys give me boners, beautiful boners and I just want to feel myself all night long
I wish I could still jerk off.
Oh my God ~ Coach, *please* come back so we have something more stimulating to read than the posts made by these fucking retards.
Seriously ~ you're #1 again in the BCS (as if there was ever any doubt!) You can afford to go out on the town in your hovercraft, do some blow, & poke a few skanky pieholes w/hooker happy Henton ~ then compose a mighty fine song about the whole thing to post on your blog.
C'mon coach ~ satisfy your fans & you can satisfy yourself all over my face ;)
Your gal & #1 fan,
Lindsay
Re: Tender Tits Thompson
Your comment was the funniest thing I read all month.
You rock, bro.
Dan Glenner said he jerked off to Hannah Montana. That is sick. Isn't she only 14 years old?
I be jackin off to porn stars and bitches like Jennifer Lopez, Mary J. Blige, and Kate Hudson. I don't be gettin' wood from 14 year old hoes.
Screw you guys ~ it's the coach or no one.
Seth, who are you trying to kid with that 7.4" boner. Everyone knows Jews have small cocks. The only reason they circumcise is to make it look bigger.
Jimmy T's #1 gal all the way,
Lindsay
There is much masturbation talk here. I might as well put in my two cents.
Lately, I have been furiously masturbating to Jim Tressel (as always), Anderson Cooper, Tom Brady, and Ray Allen.
I WANT TO JERK OFF!
I saw my doctor again today. He told me to rest my arms for another week. He suggested I lift lighter weights through the end of the year! Of course, he doesn't know this is a masturbation issue- not a weight lifting issue!
Hey Lindsay,
I have a date with some magazines with you on the cover on Halloween night, baby!!!!
I say we turn this into our own masturbation log site.
We can all keep a log of the people we jerked off to. Even the gay guy Frank can join in.
I'll be back later tonight to tell you who I jerked off to this morning.
A good jerk and a squirt doesn't sound too bad this morning.
Put me down for 11am, 10/27.
Mark me down for 8:30am on Sunday, October 28. I masturbated to various women in one of my wife's lady magazines, InStyle or something- what the fuck do I know.
Thing is I shot my load into the cup I was using to mix eggs for omelettes. I made sure I served my wife the omelette which included my sperm.
Is that fucking great or what?
She didn't even say anything about it. She ate it all!
I'm getting Cathe Friedrich tomorrow morning at 7am again.
I love sploogin' to that bitch.
To Dr. Alex King,
That is a bad ass story, man. I want to do that someday.
Oh shiky. I haven't been here in quite a while and now I see you guys talking about one of my favorite topics- masturbation.
Let me tell you what I did last night. I had the heat on in my house and was also under a warm blanket. So I took my underwear off when I got into bed. I started to feel myself, but fell asleep before I could climax. I woke up several hours later. It was 3:05am. I had night wood so I decide to beat it off. I ended up squirting my goo all over my stomach. I then rubbed it around my stomach and chest. I got up a few minutes later to get the goo off with a paper towel. Otherwise if I went back to sleep the goo would have got on my blanket.
we should organize a Tressel's World Mastrubation event. We'll pick a date and a time where we will all beat our meat. Then we'll all come on here (after coming on towels or whatever) and post who we beat off to and all.
Let the log show I am going to smack my cock at 11:55pm on October 30 to these photos of Vanessa Hudgens.
http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3F_adv_prop%3Dimage%26fr%3Dfa_fppul1%26va%3Dvanessa%2Banne%2Bhudgens%26sz%3D&w=140&h=199&imgurl=vanessa-h.skyblog.com%2Fpics%2F672969763.jpg&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvanessa-h.skyblog.com%2F&size=7.2kB&name=672969763.jpg&p=vanessa+anne+hudgens&type=jpeg&no=13&tt=650&oid=810c3d15d3177bce&ei=ISO-8859-1
No wonder Tress doesn't update, this is like a room full of 13 year olds.
Big 10 nonconference record is 33-8 this year, 32-5 without Minnesota, weakest conference in the BCS?
Big one this week, Badgers always play us tough, better stay focused.
OK kids, back to your juvenile potty talk!
Mark me down for some Halloween monkey slappin'. I'm going to beat the ol' pecker at around 7ish.
Oh no! It's the attack of the masturbating Scotts!
Good news, people. Tomorrow, Friday November 2, I will jerk off once again.
I have it all planned out. After work I will stop at the newstand and pick up some nudie mags. I will go home and put on Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" as I undress myself. I will then drape my fleece blanket around my torso as I walk around on my bed as my dick rises. I shall then jump off the bed and beat my cock senseless.
Im going to tell a tale of msturbation tonight
Hello,
I just saw this sight for the first time tonight. I saw a guy named S. Maven Sullivan advertising it on a Browns message board.
I masturbated while taking a shit at work today. It was around 3pm.
Peter, are you for real? if so, I would love to hook up with you at an Ohio State game.
I am 5'9" 150 pounds and I have a 6 inch dick. I am always game for new cock.
Have any of you guys tried giving yourself a stranger?
A stranger is when you sit on your hand for 10 minutes or more. Then you take that hand and stroke your cock. It creates a strange feeling. It almost doesn't feel like you are beating your dick. It feels like a stranger is doing it.
I love strangers! I'm going to give myself one in about 30 minutes.
The best time was when I was a senior in high school. I was sitting on my left hand when my mom walked into my room (I had all my clothes on and my nudie mags were under my pillow).
My mom wanted to ask me something about school. At one point she asked me why I was sitting on my hand. I said that I had a scratch on my buttcheek and just kept my hand there.
15 minutes later she was in her bedroom while I shot my load. I suspected she may have heard my hand beating against my stomach as I stroked my cock.
On an ESPN site I see a headline asking is LSU or Oregon #2! That's right, you got it straight, just like this time last year, who's #2? I love it, go Bucks!
The thing about the stranger was hilarious, maybe I'll press my dick against the wall for 10 minutes and Tressel will think I'm a stranger!
re: anonymous
What wall? Can I watch?
You'd think Solomon woulda had enough by now, yeah your Appy patsies are gonna kick our ass, just like last year, and the year before that, and the year before that... You still got Henne, great! You still got Lloyd, great! ND still has Weis, great! It's the Big One and the lil 10 baby. Here's hoping you limp into the Rose Bowl and get another one laid on ya by Oregon.
How do you get a UM grad off your front porch? Pay him for the pizza!
to Scott Harris:
So what? Michigan will still win Big 10 and make it to Rose Bowl.
to anonymous- Michigan will not play Oregon in Rose Bowl because Oregon will be playing in national title game. Meanwhile, Ohio State will be playing in the Carquest Bowl or Peace Bowl or some shit.
Jim, your team will lose it's last 3 games of the season, Badgers, Bucks and whoever in some bowl before Christmas. A stellar 8-5 season awaits you. UM won't be playing Oregon in the Rose Bowl cause you won't be there idiot. Maybe you can play Florida in the XGT bowl (ex-good-team) on 12/10! Yeah we looked sorry against the Juice but you still got Henne and Carr and they are experts at losing to the Buckeyes. Can't wait for them to do it again.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. UM sucks, again! Ha ha ha ha ha. Bucks'r # 5, waitin for them wannab's ta lose, no, I don't think we'll finish #2, we'll be #1 where we belong. God I hope we get to play LSU, those of the superior conference, those that will be bored beating us by 30 points, those who say we'd be lucky to go 6-5 in their vaunted conference.
LSU you suck, can't wait to rub your snotty lil noses in it. Your coach goin ta UM? Great, we get to beat your ass for years to come!
OK, LSU loses to Arkansas &/or the SEC title, W Wa loses to UConn or Pitt or get whalloped by you know who, Zona to USC, Missou/KU to Oklahoma... Bucks are No 1, no doubt. Cept to da Juice! Why didn't we recruit that guy?
I'm sorry but I just can't stop. UM really really sucks! Did you hear the announcers about how Chad and Hart were hurtin? Did they have boo-boos last year? The year before that? The year before that? UM LOSERS!!! 4 times you lost to the Buckeyes! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey Mr Hart, tell your kids about all the heart and desire you played with, what a leader you were, almost like Beanie!!!
I'm just waiting for the NC. Go Bucks.
In the NC I think we should start that frosh QB that got "busted" offering that cop $20 for a BJ or whatever. I knew this girl that offered that to me for a slice a pizza! With pepperoni of course, she was a meat-eater!
I think he's number 7, he's mobile and a lot different than Todd, more like Troy, worth a try to shake the other guys (who's #2?) up. Henton or Benton or something like that. Try him Jimmy, or is he still on punishment for bein a guy (and 18 and stupid)?
Hey Tress, here's a non-football related Q - when you buy a box of 64 crayons do you throw away the yellow and blue ones? I sure do!
Okay, so Michigan lost. Big deal. We'll be back. Ohio State is not playing for the national title this season.
Michigan will win a national title before Ohio State does.
Two words-
SUCK IT!
91 yards of total offense, big deal huh? UM's going the way of Fla St and Miami, XGT's. They won't be back and they were lucky to have been competitive for as long as they were.
Nat'l title this year Bucks, believe it JS. It'll make your most recent defeat easier to swallow, to the nat'l champs after all. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! 4 in a row UM, your house, our house, you're like our lil northern bitch, suck this!
Good get, Scott.
I had an inflatable woman once. It's what I used to practice having sexual intercourse.
That thing had so much cum on it after a month, I had to throw it out.
Alex, just wait till you go to the county, ass playin da next bitch is better than playin cards!
I hear Solomon drives around with his inflatable petendin he's got a girlfriend!
Well, the Bucks are sittin pretty, rated right behind 2 teams we can whup. Warms my heart. Both of them have to play this week, what with the crazy year we've had they'll probably both lose and the NC will be OSU vs who? I'm a lil worried bout goin to da Rose an playin USC. Those guys are really good. Nobody else really scares me, wish we could play LSU and whip their ass. Woulda been nice to see Oregon with their good QB play WVA for the NC, mighta been a good game, but... Bucks rule , natl champs again, and next year's supposed to be when we're good.
UM's next coach? How about Gerry Faust! No, I know, the fat guy at ND! Or how bout the fat guy at Kansas? Some fat guy would be fun to be, huh Jimmy?
Anonymous,
I got news for you, buddy. Ohio State isn't winning shit. They will lose to USC in the Rose Bowl.
Les Miles will be the next Michigan coach and he'll be kicking Jim Tressel's ass all over.
I have a real girlfriend. She's going gobble on the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo later tonight.
LOL! There is a typo above. It was supposed to be "list" not "lust", but I guess "lust" works as well. LOL!
LOLZ! Now I made a typo in my name.
Can you believe this?
Why would I want to coach a loser program like UM when I got my own bunch of underachievers right here in the Bayou?
I would like to do that Duff chick and see if she's really blond, and Ms Lohan, if she was properly drugged like my team acts in overtime.
Well, I gotta get emy boys ready for the Vols, maybe if we can whup em good we can catch those Luckeyes in the big one.
Tressel,
Will you dress up like Santa Claus again this year and expose your man tits?
Hey Chris Sands,
Talk about undressing people...
Last night I mentally undressed Jim Tressel and gave myself the most wonderful orgasm I have had by myself thisyear.
I truly hop 1 day I can make real love to Coach I have a feeling he swings on my side of the fence. I'll be looking to hook up with him someday. I have had sex with 18 different Buckeyes in my undergad days (I am a senior). All guys of course. Women just never did it for me. I knew I was gay when I was 10.
I am a bit dunk. I hjope I don;t regets writing this.
Long time, no chat.
The amount of semen that is building up in me right now is like a poison. If I don't eradicate it soon I am going to punch a wall or fuck a pillow or something.
I plan on splooging on the centerfold of the current issue of Hustler in the next 15 minutes. My pants are coming off as soon as I submit this post.
I have a great evening planned. I am going to lay out all my nudie magazines, jerk off to them, and watch the Oklahoma-Missouri game naked. I will beat off to the mags whenever my dick is ready for more action.
I am so pumped up over this game and the possibility of Oklahoma winning, which would put our beloved Buckeyes in the national title game.
Us Buckeyes sure do jerk off a lot, don't we?
Bucks are #1. Period. As I predicted. Who's #2? Who cares! Eat your hearts out UM, Solomon.
I clogged up a toilet today on campus! I left some floaters in the toilet!
re: Bill
This is in response to a post from it appears back in July. It's way up the list here.
You wrote that you think all guys give their dicks female names.
That is not true. I named my cock Floyd and my roommate named his cock Tromboner.
I named mine Herbstreit!
I named my big buddy The General!
I named my cock Samantha. I am then able to tell my friends I have sex with Samantha. They then get jealous I am fucking a girl, when in actuality I have not had sexual intercourse yet. I am sort of a living legend in my high school because of this.
Re: Mike Clamp
Hey buddy. I just wanted to tell you that you are clearly Ohio State material!
JS:
UM Material - Ann Arbor HS QB preparing for his future by shoving his mom's broomstick up his ass pretending it's Jim Tressel!
Oh, & good luck with Florida, 8-5!
Great story here, people.
I have a new girlfriend and got to fuck her for the first time last night.
Her roommate didn't come back to campus for Monday or Tuesday (yesterday) after going home over the weekend. She came back today.
So there we were on Tuesday night in my girlfriend's dorm room. She wanted to fuck.
She first took a shower. I started to get a little nervous because I wanted to make sure I was good in bed. I had already gotten a boner and figured I was going to lose my load fairly early on. I did some quick thinking while my girlfriend was in the shower.
I pulled my pants down and began to masturbate. Here's where it really gets good. I took a bra out of her dresser, put it up to my face to smell it, and eventually splooged into the bra cups.
I opted to open the window and throw the bra outside. People were walking by!!!! By the way, my girlfriend's room is on the 4th floor. (I won't say what dorm because I don't want that fruit Frank to stalk me. I think I know who he is, too. If I have the right guy in mind, let me tell you he truly is as fruity as he comes across with his messages here.)
The bra loaded with my jizz just narrowly missed hitting a nerd. We are talking half a second earlier and he would have been slammed. There were about a dozen people who stopped to look at the bra!!!!!!!!!
The sex was good. I lasted a very long time because I had shot my load while my girlfriend was in the shower.
Bad news, Buckeye geeks.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because I wanted to bring another girl into our bed. Instead of having a threesome, now the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo will have to be whacked around by me only. I'll get a new girl in a few weeks probably. For now, I'll join you geeks and spank my monkey every night.
Jim,
I am willing to meet you. Maybe we could start a relationship.
I was glancing at the polls and the Bucks are #1! Plus they're real mad about the last year or so, I think LSU is in for a bad experience, at home, on national tv. Rejoice buckeye nation, we're on top, not just this year but next year too, and the next, and the next... Thanks JT! Can't wait for USC next fall, wonder if they want it ribbed or regular? XL of course!
Solomon, you keep spankin that monkey, cause you ain't gettin none of the buckeyes, you coachless mr'fr.
Love to Lindsay, first I'd send Beanie up the middle, then send Todd on a sneak, and after my DL manhandles your front line The General himself might lay a back door shovel pass on ya...
Jimmy Tressel has man tits and I really like that about him.
I call mine Gameday! G-day and Herbie wanna follow up on Lindsay after the front line's done taking orders from the general.
Sorry to hear about Solomon and his g-frien, guess he'll just have to go back to the inflatable for awhile... It'll be just like his "team", fake! His ex probably ran off with a Buckeye.
I read Kirk's post and then I checked and yup, Buckeyes are #1!!!
I am going to get drunk, I mean piss drunk tonight. We'll see what happens. I will try to post here later tonight.
It is now Friday, December 14, 8:10pm.
U r 1 sick basturd Cooper, if u can load out to Martha.
I c UM's gonna higher Ricky Ricardo (WVA) 2 try a spread O on the Bucks, great. I showed Tressel my spread O 1 time and he filled it with the general! Made me wanna steal a cell phone.
Oh no u didn't! I jus bout got ova dem memries a da coach an there u go gain. Gonna pop ur ass anonamus when I bust outta here. Wish I culd play in our next game, I know we'd win da ship, ya'll know it 2.
I want Jimbo Tressel to have my babies.
Hi, my name is A Nagron and I'll be your friend till the end.
I want a shot at love with Tila Tequila.
I want a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP.
I'm digging this site.
Dear Marion,
I want to have sex with you. I promise you I will rock your world, baby.
You might be a lightning fast runner but I won't cross the finish line for hours and hours.
My starter pistol is ready.
I got wasted after drinking a lot of Appletinis at the Christmas party at lunch today. I was later caught masturbating by a janitor.
Howdy folks,
Today was great. I got all my Christmas shopping done during the day. I had dinner with my wife and then she went out shopping with her sister. I stayed home and took myself to town watching some good old porn. I beat off two times in an hour. My wife is going to get back and wonder why I'm in bed before 10:30. Jerking will do that to a fellow.
Just thought you kids would like a good jerkin off story.
12/21
9:49pm
Glad to see you kids expellin all that pent up goo by jerking off. Makes the world a less violent place, for sure. Maybe some day you could get urself a woman, like yours truly. I got mines on Broad street for like 20 bucks!
Santa Tress is coming to town,
Santa Tress is coming to town,
Santa Tress is coming to town.
He sees you when you're sleeping,
He fucks you in your bed,
He knows when you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake.
Tonight, Christmas night, I took my longest shit (in length of the turd) of the year. I mean, this thing was large.
Broccoli, mashed potatos, string beans, two eggs sunny side up today and two Mexi Melts, a crunchwrap supreme, and a caramel apple empanada from Taco Bell on Christmas Eve is what all contributed to my most glorious shit of 2007.
This turd would have made that Tony Sullivan Shit Wizard guy proud.
I want to take a bubble bath with Coach Jim Tressel.
I thought she just looked like you, it was you wasn't it Lindsay?
Sorry bout the wrong hole, butt...
Face down an bubble up you got a deal! Busy right now tho, gotta get ready for Loser State. After I done cornholin those of the superior conference, I'd be honored to bust your bubble babe.
I was thinkin of putting these pics of Martha Stewart up in my bedroom in New Orleans, and tryin that Scott Cooper deal. She's about my age, it might work. I don't know about doin it drunk, you are my hero Scott, what a feat!
I'm watchin TV last night and this guy that looks like Busse says something like have you ever taken such a good long shit that when you're done it feels like your pants fit better? Ha ha ha ha ha!
UM hires a new coach? Ha ha ha ha ha! I missed the part where he says he's gonna beat the Bucks, or where UM says he's gonna beat the Bucks. I missed that part. Ha ha ha ha ha!
When they hired me I told you what I was gonna do, didn't I? Then I did it, didn't I? You think any UM coach is ever gonna beat me? NOT!
Now, let's get back to Martha. She's got a lotta money, has towels and stuff at K-Mart. I think she can cook too. I think I'd like her to make me some cookies naked except for the heels. I want some of her own personal frosting on my cookies too! And after I lick the frosting I wanna french kiss Lindsay...
Oh yeah, Loser State. I'm tellin ya right now boys an girls this one's in the books, OSU, nat'l champs 2007-08, 2008-09, ...
Can I eat some too?
I was penetratin Lindsay earlier this evening, but now she's doin lines in the bathroom, gettin ready for a train of Glenville linemen cause she thinks her butthole's too tight. Go figure. All she talks about is coach but he's busy so I'm fillin in. Wish we'd hurry up and take care of this NC so he can get back to business. These recuiting trips are wearin me out.
long time, no chat tressel nation. I made a post a few months ago in this thread. I am out of the closet now as i am gay. frank is my nw byfriebnd. he introduced me to this site. we have sex. iam drunk, very drubnk bad. i dont xcare what u thibnk i just hadc t vgetthis off myc chestrb frank fykcks great best ass on camputs oh i can fucjk him akll nitre long i am druink fucjk ytou if you are hsting i vavtn wait for fsrp[tri semnytestrer oto staetb ado i camn see frabnk aghiain we willl fuck ahain
i am fYXCKIND RUINK. OHIO STEAYTE WINS IT ALL IN BNAYTOOKNAL CHJSAMPIONSHUOPMGHDSME FUUCCKKKKKKKKKKKK YEAH MOTHERFUKCEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS
Dr. Alex King bought the farm last night.
I hope this wacko has his license revoked.
I wonder what kind of doctor he was. Probably a proctologist or a foot doctor. No way could he have been a surgeon or cardiologist.
On a smoked out daze
In a country boy carze
Wilding out back in day
Just say I don't that
I just came across this site when Googling for Jim Tressel information for a school project that was assigned to me over winter break. This is good material for my paper. I must say that Dr. Alex King is scary. I hope he is put on medication soon.
Yeah, this Dr. Alex King guy now has to be considered the most fucked up poster in Tressel's World history.
Dr. Alex King is even more deranged than the fake real Swain and the fake fake Swain.
Bucks are still #1 in all the polls, way to go JT, nice job.
Watched team up north go up against Gay-tors, couldn't figure out who to root for, wish they coulda both lost. Suprised we ain't heard from Solomon gloating, he's probably too busy with his inflatable. SEC = no defense.
I know you're all drunk (witness Alex K & that Cooper guy), you have 4 days to sober up for a half and watch why Bucks are #1... Prediction - LSU won't score, #1 D rules.
I just love, love, love Jim Tressel.
My prediction- Ohio State 27, LSU 10.
Ohio State will go down faster than Jim tressel in the kiddie pool at the local YMCA.
My pick is LSU 31, Ohio State 13.
MICHIGAN rolled over Florida!!! Ohio State couldn't do that!!!
Rich Rodriguez is coming to town to kick some Buckeyes ass for years on end.
You're going down Tressel!!!!
That would be at the YWCA JS. UM woulda rolled over Fla if Hart coulda held onto the ball! Tress & me are going to take turns over at Lindsay's as soon as he's done poking needles in his Rodriguez doll.
Kick some Buckeye ass, now there's something UM & LSU have no clue about. My prediction - OSU 45, LSU 3.
Jim Tressel's big game is only 2 nights away! Are you ready for some football? Some Monday night par-tay?
14-3 mutha f'r, all year!
Now now kids, settle down, this is Jimmy, and we're all down here in the Bayou makin plans for dinner. Think I'll take em to McD's so their tummies don't get upset on that blackened cajun cookin. All we need is another Joe-Pa incident on national TV! We'll save that kinda food for after the game (hope them ventilators are workin on the plane).
Linday, I think a you all the time cept when I'm friggin off to my Martha pics on my hotel room walls (thanks Scott). Did any of them Glenville linemen sign up?
Well, gotta get goin, there's a cajun queen awaitin 4 yours truly in her trailer. I'm gonna squirt some a my special sauce on that tart 4 I go beddie bye tonight!
Don't worry at all bout the game, our guys are going to tear em up, no doubt. They are definately ready. After the game we gonna f their bitches, yeah!
--- Jimmy T from New Orleans, Ohio.
Oooh coach, member when we f'd dem Miami bitches after the game in da desert in 2003? Dat 1 we shard, she kept me screamin Nextel, Verizon, Cingular the whole time she was givin me that cuban treat, then we both ended up at da OSU med center a couple weeks later, member? Thanks 4 da memories coach, wish you an our guys get sum mo on monday night... I gotsta find a way to get outta here.
Prediction: LSU 24, OSU 10 at halftime.
Oh, and Tressel's dead. End of story.
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
OHIo state lost. They fuckin lost!!!!!
Michigan, baby. November 2008- you are going down, Tressel.
Note to Lindsay,
The Ol' Jumbo Jimbo is ready to penetrate the Front Line. Let's do this, baby. How can I get in touch with you to hook something up? Post your e-mail address, honey.
Don't worry about all the haters, Coach T. I will never quit you.
i just want to say that you have the full support of the gay and lesbian community.
You have always made us proud.
I think maybe we shoula blitzed somebody once or twice, like Fla did to us, or like UM did to Fla. Gotta ditch that soft zone, go man up now an then, so I can keep my job. I know, replace the D coord. Shoulda kept #4 in at wideout, noticed watchin film that f'd LSU up on D. Coulda tried the solicitor too! Gee (not you Gordon), wish we could do it again. Don't regret that roughing the kicker call tho, damn near blocked that sucker, woulda been huge...
Oh well, gotta go visit that Tyrelle kid in PA. Linday I'll be in the Holiday Inn by the kid's house, I ain't hangin my Martha pics, I'll be the stick in your chocolate bar!
Oh, and Solomon, leave my gurl alone and go back to the vinyl doll, I'll send you some hankies for next year's game, in Columbus.
I had a dream that I will have sex with Jim Tressel some day.
A Nagron does not like boatcutters.
Agree with boat guy, watched 1st half on tape and key turning point was Robiskie dropping that TD pass resulting in a blocked FG. Woulda made it 17-10 Bucks and changed momentum/complexion of the game. We mighta still lost but woulda been a better game.
Tressel's time management in 4th qtr sucked bigtime. No hurry to score, we're gonna lose anyways, take your time boys.
Also, we shoulda blitzed more and gone man to man, that soft zone wasn't covering anyone no-how.
I think the syphilis is affecting Mr Vest's brain, perhaps we should go with a new coach.
I want to start a new game for us all to play.
A person lists something and the next person has to write why his dick is like that thing.
I'll go first. Since I'm starting this I have to post an object and why my dick is like it.
rose
My dick is like a rose because it is prickly in some parts, but it is beautiful when in full bloom.
Next object: robust chocolate factory
My dick is like a JTSV cause it's warm and soft, makes me sweat, and heats up Mrs T's winters.
a fireplace poker
My dick is like a toilet bowl because it's hard, white and nasty, and it completely drains me when Tressel sits on it!
Besides, we go there every year after the Buckeye loss.
family reunion
My dick is like a family reunion because it cooks outside, is lotsof fun, is full of love and keeps relatives close, like my cuz Brenda!
Gooseliver
My dick is like a hostess twinkie cause when I squeeze it for a while some white stuff comes out and it tastes good.
cowbell
My dick is like a snow plow because it comes out when it's slippery, is hard and tough, has a wide swath and sprays white stuff all over.
a fruit snack
My dick's like a USB cable cause when I plug it in my hardware comes alive.
a pop quiz
My dick's like a pop quiz cause you don't see it coming, it's usually hard, and at the end I give it to my teacher and there's a sigh of relief.
a paint roller
My dick is like a can of baked beans because it looks like Bobby Knight! Hah, I loved that one by Thad.
My dick is like a can of baked beans because I give it to Mrs Tressel from behind, same with the beans. Plus, she says it tastes better with ketchup and mustard.
crystal meth
My dick is like crystal meth because it's highly addictive, quite explosive, and makes chicks "crank"y when they can't get it.
lumber yard
My dick's like a can of beer cause it quenches her thirst, tastes great and is less filling, has a nice head, and when I shake it some foam comes out. Guess I'll be shakin it alot the next 50 years or however long I got left...
a fire truck
My dick is like a fire truck because when it gets rolling, there ain't nothin' stopping it and once it gets to the right spot ejaculate is going to shoot out like water from a hose.
masking tape
My dick is like a lawnmower because chicks that ride it love it's power and speed and say it corners really well. It goes forward and backward and does a really good job on her backyard!
a falcon
My dick is like cheesy poofs cause it melts in her mouth, makes her lick her lips and gets orange stuff all over her fingers. That's right, orange stuff; I really gotta get to a doctor, ever since I messed with that slut up north.
power drill
Geez Kev, just cause ur gonna lose Pryor to the Bucks ya don't need ta get ur panties all in a twist!
My dick is like a can of paint cause it's usually covered in latex, it shines like semigloss and I try to get the lead out. Also, it covers the earth ladies!
a dodge viper
My dick is like a dodge viper because it's American made, has a lot of power and burns rubber(s) all the time.
lottery ticket
My dick is like a ham sandwich because this little piggy goes wee wee wee all the way home. When I put it in Lindsay's ham she squeezes it like a sandwich and some cheese cums out. Mrs. Tressel says it tastes like pork. Speakin a ham, cause it looks like Bobby Knight!
a blunt
My dick is like AJ's right foot because it comes out when my offense stalls, enjoys a nice massage, it stinks and it has a red mark on it from kickin it with Lindsay.
an avalanche
My dick is like corn on the cob because it tastes good, is a nice summer afternoon treat, and old ladies with no teeth like to suck on it.
a toaster oven
My dick is like corn on the cob because it tastes good, is a nice summer afternoon treat, and old ladies with no teeth like to suck on it.
a toaster oven
This is embarassng but I am drunk and dont care right now./
My dick is like a inchowmr because it is small and cute.
an umbrella
When I go to Taco Bell I swear sometimes that one of the workers there beat off into my taco. That's not sour cream baby!!! That's why my dick is like a taco, it's good to eat and has some cream in it.
easter candy
My dick is like Easter candy because it is sweet and tastes good, but it only comes around once a year.
an old TV
My dick is like an old TV because it has been turned on many times through the years, but is not very good anymore and should be replaced by a better, younger model.
a giraffe
My duck is like a suitcase because it stores a lot of stuff inside it and when you open it up it splooges all that good shit out.
a beer bottle
It's Tressel's World
Party time
Excellent
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