Thursday, May 24, 2007

Travelin' Man

Hey there, Tresselheads. It's me Tressel, Coach Jimmy Tressel. Missed me? I bet you did. I've had a whole big bunch of soul searching to do this year and decided to just hit the road and see what this great country of ours is all about. I roughed it in a Winnebago with the kids and Mrs. T. Some legal problems I ran into also made it a good time to disappear.

I left my laptop at home but got some great shots on my digital camera:

That's one mother of a trophy they'll never take away from me. Anyway that's all for today. Feel free to ask some non-football related questions and i'll try and answer the worthy ones. Have a safe memorial day fuckers.


Anonymous El Manisero said...

you were missed...

missed like all that fucking money I had on your Fuckeyes. The Gators schooled you so hard some of your players actually graduated. My only solace is that UM did much worse (although, still a lot better than FIU's 0-12).

I'd say you owe me some cash, but legal problems come first, and Dateline sure ain't cheap.

Keep on rockin' Coach.

10:03 PM  
Anonymous Donald said...

Coach Tressel,
Welcome back to your blog.

I have a question for you. Did you enjoy sticking your hand up that puppet's ass?

10:13 PM  
Anonymous Patrick Harris said...

Yes! Coach is back.

I am sorry I lashed out at you a couple months ago. I was going through a tough time because my son got in trouble at school for cursing in a classroom. I don't know where he learned it from. Maybe this site? LOL!
Anyway, I had to go to school and talk to his teacher and principal.

So that may me very irate when I logged onto this site.

From the Harris family to yours- Have a happy, healthy, and enjoyable Memorial Day weekend.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Patrick Harris: douche.

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

To the asshole from the January 8th comment section who said Tressel was dead.


Now go fuck yourself.

7:41 AM  
Anonymous Britney Spears said...

question for you to answer Coach-

want to fuck?

2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That 2nd last pic coach, your ass looks nice, maybe I AM a Gaytor now! They sure liked f'n it, did you like it too?

1:26 AM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Your resident shit maven is back.
I am glad to report I had a nice, healthy robust shit tonight. I ate good food today and my body rewarded me with a nice, solid shit.

Welcome back, Coach Jimmy Tressel.
I have some questions.
What was the longest length of time you sat on the toilet while shitting?
Do you like to smell your wife's shit?

By the way, I want that black bitch in the second to last photo.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

I feel the pressure building. I will finish my beer. That should be the final push, so to speak.

This shall be a nice, fine shit tonight.

June 2
(I shall date my posts now, as to keep an online shit diary for my own use and your delight. I believe my previous post was from Thursday, May 30.)

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

all hail the Cavaliers! At least some team can win a title in Ohio!

Well maybe they will lose the championship game just like the Buckeyes.

9:18 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

I'm really blowing out my ass this morning. I think I'll save this shit for work. Might as well get paid to shit instead of doing it at home on my free time.

3:54 AM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Oh, it's June 5, 2007 at 7am.

3:55 AM  
Anonymous chris matthews said...

thanks for the season tickets. still on for that fishing trip?

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Paris Hilton said...

hey Coach, this site is hot.

I am lonely right now in jail. Are you up for a conjugal visit?

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay Lohan said...

Coach, when are you & Maurice gonna bust me out of rehab?
Your gal,

6:18 AM  
Anonymous Lee Corso said...


1:57 PM  
Blogger Jimmy Tressel said...

you can't rape the willing

3:32 PM  
Anonymous beano Cook said...

Can I watch?

8:39 PM  
Anonymous BIG DICK DADDY HASSAH said...


11:50 AM  
Anonymous MS. PARIS HILTON said...



11:55 AM  
Anonymous Keith Jackson said...

Dear Ms. Hilton,

I want to have a conjigal visit with you. I would do you right, honey.

7:59 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Whoa, nelly!

7:27 AM  
Anonymous Antonio hester said...

Hey Solomon,

You still jerkin' that big cock?

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Scott Cooper said...

To Donald,

That thing that has Tressel's hand up its ass is not a puppet. It is a dummy. There is a difference, you miserable piece of shit. Fuck you, bitch!

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Howdy folks,
It sure has been a while since I last posted. I have been shitting well during my absence.
On tonight's menu is a nice, rotund shit. I can feel this one entering the shit zone. In about 10 minutes I will go to my bathroom and spend a quality half hour enjoying.

6:32 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Oh, right now it is June 25 at 9:30pm.

I kept a shit diary of this month. So far I have shit 18 times. One of those times I jerked off while shitting. I was drunk that afternoon.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous Paris Hilton said...

Desar Mr. Tressl,

I will get out of jail soon. I want youy to me my first fuck when I get out. I like you. I will suck your cock.

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Tank Johnson said...

Hey, Coach...

You got a job opening? I could really use one.

10:12 AM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Yo everyone,

Just lettin' you know I have a nice strong shit on the way. Oh dear, this is going to be tough makin it to the shitter.

Hey Paris- I'll fuck you.


2:54 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Howdy folks,

That was a nice 40-minute ass blast. The actual shitting did not take 40 minutes. I stayed on the can extra to finish reading.

June 26
9:18 pm

6:19 PM  
Anonymous Chris Sands said...

Paris Hilton gives me wood.

7:34 PM  
Anonymous tony sullivan said...

I had a nice, solid shit tonight. Real quality stuff. I've really been blowin' them out good lately.

By the way, Paris Hilton? Yes, I'd fuck her.

Finally, funny story here. I was in the copy room at work today. Two female interns came in while I was making copies. A couple farts slipped out and I didn't give a fuck. One thing you folks know about me is that I don't care about farts and shits.

June 28

Greg Oden to Portland and Mike Conley to Memphis. What say you, Tressel?

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

I feel a master blaster coming on.

July 1

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Coach, me and Troy and Teddy was just bustin up cause we can't remember the names of the QBs this year! Brockman? Showanddice? Ha ha ha! We all knew the RB, the beast. We better practice some run blocking this summer, in case he needs it.

Oh, and that Tony S, we could use his butthole at WR, cause only his gaping ass will be able to catch those passes (like it does friday nights)! Go bucks!

9:22 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...


I am actually a good football player. I played some RB at a Division II school back in the day.

My ass is of a normal size. It if was bigger I would probably have shorter shit sessions. Fortunately, I have never been in prison. Thus, my ass is still in great shape.

I feel a mastodon shit brewing. This is going to be special. I'll have some fireworks in my bathroom in a few moments. Then I will have a few beers and watch the fireworks display in my town.

July 3, 2007

6:26 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Hey Tressel, it is July 6 now and Ohio state still sucks more than Michigan,

Of course, got my knob slobbed tonight. The Ol' Jumbo Jimbo.

I drank 4 Red Bulls tonight, got the ol' jumbo knob slobbed and then still maintained the boner. It was also some of my best cum ever. Stringy, solid white with real power behind it.

Great times, great times.

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Not quite sure who is the bigger douche.

Solomon for writing about his cum and naming his penis after himself. I mean, I gave mine a female name- I thought that is what all guys do.

Or is it Sullivan for writing constantly about his own bowel movements.

Bring back Steven Swain. He is much better than the Jew team of Solomon and Sullivan.

3:21 AM  
Anonymous tony sullivan said...

I actually ate one of Solomon's loads. Not bad, warm, a little salty, but definitely a lot of power behind it.
Oh yeah, I shit it out the next day. Smelled like cabbage. Well, a homo who eats cabbage. Weird.

6:59 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

To Bill,

I don't see you expounding any great words of wisdom here, so fuck you.

To the guy posting as me,
I actually found that to be a bit amusing, probably because I am not gay one bit. I suppose if I was gay, that post may have bothered me.
Try ahead, douchebag.

By the way, I had my first diarrhea tonight in quite some time. I don't like the feeling before getting on the toilet. But getting that liquidy solid into the toilet is always fun.

10:43 pm

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

To the shit king,

I have made many fine contributions to this message board dating back to last summer. You, on the other hand, contribute nothing other than your sick, twisted stories of your bowel movements.

Also, what does "try ahead..." mean?

By the way, I fucked your mama.

5:12 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

Obviously, I meant to write "try again".
But try ahead would work for you. You surely sound like a guy who gives head.

I read older posts here and you never wrote anything good.

You fucked my mama, you say? Are you still in junior high?

I now realize you are a stupid punk kid.

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Britney Spears said...

I make a poo poo and a doo doo doo doo.

10:14 PM  
Anonymous clark stuifer said...

Oh oh oh oh oh oh Montego Bay.
I'z in the backroom of Montego Bay.
Oh pleaso day.

I don't want you in my fuckin' way. I'z in the bathroom of Montego Bay.

I shit on your late.

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

re: Clark Stuifer


7:07 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

I'm working on a mastodon shit tonight (I explained what they are in a comment I made here a couple months ago).
They are maybe my favorite types of shits although they require not shitting for at least 48 hours.

Some other types of shits-
Floating Mary
Two Wiper

I'll finish this later, I have to shit.

By the way, Britney Spears- want to hook up. You can shit on my chest and then we'll fuck with the shit still on my chest.

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Patrick Harris said...

This blog has really gone down the toilet so to speak. I am dissapointed with Coach Tressel again. Would it kill him to post once in a while?

6:14 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

So there I was in work today having a discussion with a coworker in my office. I had the door open when we were talking about what we should get for lunch. Two young female interns walked by right as I said, "I'm just trying to think what food I want to shit out later. KFC would give me a good solid shit, but Taco Bell could really fuck me up, although that would be kind of cool in work."

The chicks heard all of it because there was no other noise nearby.

I wound up getting KFC. I took a nice solid healthy shit in the afternoon.

July 23
7:03 pm

4:03 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Hey Shit Maven- Fuck you, asshole.

I bet you're the type of guy who would stick his fingers up his ass and pull out a piece of shit just so you could brag about it thinking it was cool somehow. Fuckin' dipshit.

I also bet you have stuck your fingers in your own shit and then smelled your finger.

Fuck you, bitch.

7:39 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

Howdy folks,

Just lettin' you know I had another shit tonight. Real nice quality. The color was a perfect hue of brown and the texture was of the highest quality.

As for you, Bill, I would never stick my fingers up my ass. I believe you are a flaming homo just for thinking about such an act.

July 24
12:01 am

9:00 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

Also, Bill, I am not any "type of guy". I am that of which cannot be determined.

For everyone else- I'm going to try to fart on some of the interns this week. I won't be able to fart this morning since I am out of shit. I will build up some juice after lunchtime, however.

I'll let you know what happens.

July 24

3:59 AM  
Anonymous Alex Zack said...

You can tell I'm having fun. Just look at the size of my balls.

3:24 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Hey bitches,

I got the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo slobbed on again tonight.
Let' see- my team is better than your team and my cock is bigger than all of your cocks.
What more is there to life?

7:48 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

re: "what more is there to life?"

Umm, being a real man and not some pussy ass punk bitch who tells stories online.
Let me tell yuo a little secret. Anybody who brags on the internet about getting his cock sucked and fucking women is NOT getting his cock sucked and fucking women.

Just face the facts, Jimbo. You are a sweaty Jew who spends his nights in his bedroom wacking off to soft porn and playing video games.

Now take your sorry Michigan ass the fuck out of here.

July 25
7:35 pm

4:34 PM  
Anonymous Steven SWain said...

What up, y'all?

I just came back to inform you all I just got laid tonight!

Who's laughing now?

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Roger Goddell said...

Dear Mr. Tressel,

Please don't even consider ever taking an NFL job. I'll suspend you based on the vile which is your blog. The insane acts of debauchery which you engage in is not the kind of image my league wants to put out there.
I'm sure you will do what is best and stay in the college game.

3:42 AM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Hey Shit Fuck Tony Sullivan-


How about this, cocksucker? Let's meet at this year's Michigan-Ohio State. We'll see who the real man is.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

If I go to that game this year, sure, we'll meet up.
I'll wipe the floor with you.

July 29
9:58 am

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

zI make zero comments about flatulence but I easily suck dick of Tressel for free corn

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...


I took an extra hour at lunch today just to go home and revel in a nice, long shit. Is that cool or what?

Fuckin' great, man.

10:26 AM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

A guy wrote he would suck Tressel's cock if Tressel gives him corn?

Is this guy for real?

re: Sullivan
Your ass is mine, bitch.

8:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this sucks ass now

2:17 AM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

I agree this blog sucks. But it always sucked and that is due to the fact it is run by Ohio State's dumbass football coach.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nah it sucks because of dumbasses like you and that fucking shit maven fag. infact i dont know who is a bigger fag you or Sullivan.

5:01 AM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

I can only assure you that you, sir, are the fucking flaming faggot.
I'll kick your ass, too at the Ohio State-Michigan game.

Then I'll take a shit on your chest.

August 2

7:04 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Uh oh, I feel a pre-work diarrhea coming on.

August 3

3:44 AM  
Anonymous Clark Stuifer said...

I can stance raining ass
on the one ode to oats
1 can teem a lot of sudder feet
Mosey on down the street

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Clark,

Shut the fuck up you gibberish mother fucker.

6:11 AM  
Anonymous Clark stuifer said...

I'm running to catch your folder
Yeah I'm in your folder
I'm running against the toad
To kettle the moonbeams of love

9:41 AM  
Anonymous Blaine Martinez said...

Fuck the puppet, I want to stick my hand up Tressel's ass.

2:35 PM  
Anonymous Keith Balboni said...

To Tony Sullivan,

I want to thank you for talking about shit in a humorous way and for being very open about shitting especially with your co-workers. I had always been very shit shy at work. I never went at work ever, in fact. Now I am 32 years old and I took two shits at work recently.

Thanks again

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Dan Glenner said...

Hey Tressel,

Can you please update this blog? I'm sick of reading about Tony Sullivan's bowel movements and I'm sick of reading comments from anonymous pussies complaining about other posters.

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Ryan shofner said...

I'm a tit machine.

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Dan Glenner said...

I'll admit it. I just come here for the fuckin'.

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

I'm gonna be runnin around naked up in this bitch when the first game is played.

9:33 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Shut up the fuck up, Swain.

9:55 AM  
Anonymous James said...

I took a shit in my pants today while driving in my car. Luckily, I went past a construction site and saw a port-a-john. I went in that fucker and took off my pants and boxers. I fuckin' left them there covered with shit in the ass area.
I drove home naked in the cock area.
It was fuckin' embarrassing. I had to go to a toll booth with no undies or pants on.
I eventually made it home and had to walk to my door with my fuckin' dick hanging out. I think one of my neighbors (an old bitch) saw my pecker.

8:48 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Re: Bill

Don't be hatin'.

I'm sippin' that sizzyrup and drinkin' that crunk juice.

Word to your mother, motherfucka.

10:26 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

AGAIN- SHUT THE FUCK UP, SWAIN. What? Are you trying to get Sullivan's title back? You know- "Biggest Douchebag at Tressel's World"

12:18 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Howdy folks,

I dropped a real quality, smelly shit a couple hours ago. Good times, good times.

RE: Keith Balboni
You are welcome. That's what it's all about. You have to have the confidence to shit in work. Shitting is a natural act and when you have to unload, you just have to do it. There is nothing to be ashamed about. I'm a glad to be of assistance and I hope you have many fruitful shits in the future.

RE: James


RE: Dan Glenner
Yeah, as if you should talk. You contribute nothing, you fuckin' asshole.

August 12, 2007

7:23 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

To Bill,

You better come correct, yo. My shit is tight. Time for you to step me and recognize, bitch.

3:49 AM  
Anonymous Bill said...

I will not step you.

Whatever the fuck that means.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Hey Steven Swain,

I am drunk I want to suck your dick. Let's hook up. Call me.


Good looki' out, nigga.

9:35 PM  
Anonymous that girl said...

Tressel, let me shit on your face.

3:42 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Re: that girl

That's hot, baby. I wouldn't mind you doing that to me.

I'll even let you suck on the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo, if you know what I mean.

3:55 AM  
Anonymous SCott Harris said...

My farts smell like freshly cut dandelions.

4:23 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

My balls itch and I mean they itch bad. What's a nigga to do?

3:53 AM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Re: Bill

I meant to write "step to me". Either way you gots to recognize me.

Re; FRank
I ain't suckin yo' dick, bitch.

3:54 AM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Re: the girl, Jim Solomon

You two assholes should get a room. Also, I bet Solomon's cock couldn't hold a candle to mine. I believe, like everyone else, that Solomon's cock is probably in the 2-3 inch range. Nobody with a big cock would have to brag about it on the internet. That's word so respect.

3:57 AM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Holy shit! We are online at the same time.

So I am online the same time as a fuckin' douchebag. Maybe that is bad luck?

My cock is big and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold Jim Solomon said so!

4:00 AM  
Anonymous Scott Harris said...

My shit smells like Earl Grey tea.

3:28 PM  
Anonymous Scott Fieldman said...

Yeah, well my shit smells like dead owls.

5:46 PM  
Anonymous rank said...

Hye baby baby baby

Boys say, boy s say

We got the camofeel, the boys in the back with the sex appeal, went to my high school

Let me stick my cock in your fuckin' ass
Tressel's got the fire ass

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Yo Tresel,

I heard you put Tabasco sauce on your dick and had some co-ed ho suck it off. That is straight pimp, nigga!

I'ma gone do that tonight, dog. Word to ya momma.

11:04 AM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Yo Jim Solomon,

You the douchebag.
So what if you were online the same time as me. Get over yourself, bitch. Nobody gives a flying fuck about your bitch ass.

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Swain, You misread. I don't want you to suck my dick. Rather, I want to suck your dick. Don't you want to get done?

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Howdy all,

I have a massive thunderous turd to unload. This is going to be mega. I saved it all day in work because I really want to enjoy this one. I want to revel in it. I'm even taking two beers into the bathroom with me. Then I'll drink some more and watch some Monday night football. Great night!

August 20

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Oh, good gravy, was that an exhilirating shit. I had to cut it up with a plastic knife so it would not clog the toilet.

August 22

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Tony Sullivan said...

Actually the time and date should have read:

August 20

6:09 PM  
Anonymous jim solomon said...

I'm going to do a little of the jerkin' of the off here tonight before I go to bed. A little pull on the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo. Showcase my dick for you all.

10:25 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Oh, oh bitch. Yeah, DSuck ythat dick bitch. give it to me.

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Tony SullivaN said...

Oh, c'mon Solomon. That was lame. Pretending to have an orgasm while typing? Give me a fuckin' break.

Nobody is going to care about typing on a computer while getting their knob slobbed. You really must be 15 years old.


8/22, 11:28pm

8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this place used to be awesome. no wonder coach doesnt update on here anymore. it really sucks now.

8:43 AM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Hey shit wizard,

I was fuckin' masturbating. Can't you fuckin' read? You are a dumbass. That second message was written while I had my right hand wrapped around my massive cock. I typed with my left hand and wrote as if I was getting my dick sucked because that is what I was imagining while I was jerking off. I certainly was not imagining this fuckin' website, so I had to pretend a bitch was sucking the Ol' Jumbo Jimbo.

Next time learn to read, you stupid motherfucker.

9:25 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

Re; anonymous

Hey pussy, why don't you use your real name? Also, instead of criticizing, why don't you post something useful to make this site "awesome" again.

Fuck you, asshole.

9:26 PM  
Anonymous Tony "Shit Wizard" Sullivan said...

Okay, my bad, Solomon. I see what you meant, although I still find it odd you were on this site while playing with yourself.

I agree with you that the anonymous guy is a pussy.

Excuse me for I have to take a nasty shit before I get ready for work.

August 24
6:41 am

3:40 AM  
Anonymous Beano Cook said...

I want to fuck your ass, Tressel.

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want a pistol up my ass.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Jim Solomon said...

RE: Shit Wizard

It's all good. No offense taken.

Re: anonymous
I knew you were a fuckin' fruity bastard. Just one thing- by "pistol" do you mean an actual gun or do you mean a penis? I bet you mean a penis, you fuckin' queer ass bitch.


3:31 PM  
Anonymous Tony "Shit Wizard" Sullivan said...

Okay, Solomon. Everything is cool again.

To all,

I had a cheesesteak for dinner. Then I had ice cream. I was farting up a fuckin' storm!
I then took a wonderful dump. I mean, just phenomenal. I spent a half hour reveling in that shit experience. Great looking turds, nice smell, good magazine reading. Just a great experience. I hope I have one like that at work this week.

August 27
12:25 am

9:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

come on jimmie you fucking piece of shit how hard is it to post a few words on your own blog. youre fucking worthless

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's because he is Jimmy Tressel, Ohio State football coach. He's a fuckin loser.

2:59 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay Lohan said...

My ass is yours.
Meet me in the 'shoe Friday night. I'll suck your cock while you update your blog.
Your gal,

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Beano Cook said...

Dear Lindsay,

Can I watch?

5:09 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay Lohan said...

Don't ask me ... Jimmy T is the one in charge

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Beano Cook is one sick ass motherfucker.

Hey Lindsay, Can I fuck you? I'll pay in cash and/or coke, baby.

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


11:50 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

I'll fuck you, Coach.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous Urban Meyer said...

Hey Frank,

I already fucked him.

4:22 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Yeah, but I literally want to pleasure him. I know you guys thought I was gay. Well, I finally recently came out of the closet here. Anything goes here, so why not try- Coach Jimmy Tressel- would you be interested in playing a dick game with me?
I do this with my boyfriend from time to time.
We get naked and stand in front of one another. We let our penises touch one another. The first guy's whose cock gets hard gets to be the guy who initiates the love making.
This game only works if both dicks are limp. We start from the bottom to the top so to speak- limp to rock hard.
Two limp dicks touching and then slowly getting hard is great. One time we tried to see if we could ejaculate without touching our dicks with one another's hands or mouth. We almost made it happen by basically slapping our dicks together. But then Roger couldn't take it anymore and he went down on me. I shot my load less than a minute later.

It is fun. I'd love for you to join me (or us), Coach. Once again, my number is 731-755-4569.

Thanks, Coach.

5:22 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...


That was the gayest shit I ever read in my life. Get the fuck out of here. Nobody here likes you. Don't you know that by now? Even Tressel's gay ass doesn't like you.

7:35 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Wizard" Tony Sullivan said...

Wow. That disgusting shit Frank wrote is sickening. I agree with Bill. Please get the fuck out of here, Frank. This is a motherfuckin' football site. We talk about fucking women, not guys. Gay talk is not wanted here. Post about football, shitting, heterosexual sex, and other cool things. Go to Steve Swain's blog and bother him about sex. Didn't you ask him out earlier in this thread?

9:36 AM  
Anonymous "Shit Wizard" Tony Sullivan said...

(forgot to post time in previous post)

I had a wonderful shit last night. I spent at least 30 minutes on the bowl. I did some drinkin' and readin' while shitting. Good times, good times.

September 1, 2007
Watching my first college game of season! Virginia Tech leads East Carolina 3-0 with 2:31 remaining in 1st quarter.

9:38 AM  
Anonymous Alex Boone said...

Hey Soloman,

Appalachian State 34
Michigan 32


1:05 PM  
Anonymous bill said...

To Solomon-

FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!!!! Michigan fuckin' lost to Appalachian State!!! Who is laughing now, shithead?

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Solomon,

Two words- suck it.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Yo, I'm back up in this mothafucka! What up peeps?

Yo, Frank- yo, word 'em up, just leave and do it now. We don't kick it gay like that here.

Jim Solomon- yo, what up, man? Michigan got beat-now that's what up!

11:12 PM  
Anonymous Chris Harper said...

I can't wait to see what that asshole Solomon has to say.

7:45 AM  
Anonymous Dan Glenner said...

I bet we won't be hearing from Solomon for at least a week.

6:25 PM  
Blogger Mentos Fillapeedios said...

Solomon is an asshole. That's an undeniable fact.

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Alex Zack said...

Drink my anal leakage, Solomon.

9:17 AM  
Anonymous antonio hester said...

Look at the bright side. Solomon's bitch ass will not be here for a while, therefore we won't have to read about his big cock.

2:24 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay Lohan said...

I did suck Coach T's cock. Best tasting cock for me in a couple years.

4:18 PM  
Anonymous ron said...

I want to suck the tits of Glenn Close.

10:10 PM  
Anonymous Donald said...

I want to fuck the tits of Glenn close.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Keith jackson said...

I want to shoot my sperm onto the tits of Glenn Close.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

What I be wanting to do is to shit between the tits of Glenn Close. I want my shitlog to be dropped right between those two fuckin' fun bags. Then I'm gonna dip my cock in whipped cream and fuckin' go to town on that bitch. I'm the shit maven and I'm going to do this btich right. Smear my whipped cram dipped cock all over that shit which is my actual shit and rub that stuff all over her motheruckin' tits. Really rub in it there good. My dick is going to be some motherfuckin' hard, bitch.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Shit Meister HJoe Sullivan said...

Wait. That last post was actually from Shit Meister Joe Sullivan.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Wizard" Tony Sullivan said...



You have to be kidding me, Swain. That was the most ridiculous thing anybody ever wrote here. Congrats, man. You reached a new low.

Were you high or drunk?

Finally, don't even try to impersonate me again. Everybody with functional brain cells knows a true Shit Wizard post when they see it.


I dropped a nice duece before work on Thursday morning. I'm working on a nice one for Saturday morning. I went to Taco Bell at 9:00pm on Friday.

Now it is 1:19 am on Saturday. I'll go to bed. I'll wake up and have some eggs and then I'll go shit and watch college football. Shitting and football. It doesn't get much better.

September 8

10:19 PM  
Anonymous Sook Lee said...

It's official. This blog fuckin' sucks. The guy made two posts in all of 2007. He's a fuckin' loser.

12:55 PM  
Anonymous Santonio Holmes said...

Dee. Eee. Dee. Dead.
RIP motherfucker. RIP.

6:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jimmy T, why the fuck don't you post more. Anon like a mother fucker.

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Sean said...

I want to dip my doughnut in Tressel's milk.

5:38 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Where is Solomon? There he was all summer long running his mouthwhen he wasn't too busy eating matzho balls and gefilte fish. Now Michigan starts 0-2 and this bitch is nowhere to be found.

In similar news, it is good that that fairy Frank has not returned.

4:39 PM  
Anonymous Dick Juice Kenny Stapleton said...


This site is the shit. Today I read the whole motherfuckin' thing. I haven't laughed this hard in 3 years.

Biggest douchebags- that girl and Jim Solomon.

Biggest geek- Steven Swain

Best poster- Tony Sullivan

8:34 PM  
Anonymous "Shit Maven" Tony Sullivan said...

Hello all,

I have decided to no longer post here. It is apparent to me that the owner of this blog has decided to abandon it. I will no longer waste my time here.


The Master of Shit, the Shit Wizard, the Sultan of Shit, King Shit

Tony Sullivan

September 16, 2007

7:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

7:39 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

Fuck this.
I'm leaving, too.

This blog fuckin' blows because Tressel never updates it and we are losing the best posters from the comments section. Steve Swain hardly ever posts. What happened to that Bible thumper Patrick Harris? And Jew bagel Jim Solomon ran away after those two embarrassing Michigan losses. And now the star of the comments section, Tony Sullivan, has left.

Fuck this.

Bill, signing out for the final time here on September 21, 2007.

Maybe I'll post at and poke fun at this Tressel motherfucker.

By the way, I never really liked Ohio State. I'm more of a Nebraska fan, Tressel. Take that and shove it up your sweater vest ass.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Beano Cook said...

For not pissing on his face, I'm going to write on his mothrafuckin' blog. Fuck you, Jimmy T. Your ass is mine, vest bitch.

9:54 PM  
Anonymous Douchebag Montoya said...

i want to fuck your skin, Tressle.

10:31 PM  
Anonymous Flapjacks Malone said...

I want Tressel to lay me and then call me loverneck and rosch.

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Dick Juice Kenny Stapleton said...

It really sucks that all the cool niggas are leaving. Just when I discovered this site, it goes to hell. I'm on lockdown here in Ohio. You niggaz should rethink this whole thing and entertain this brotha.

9:27 PM  
Anonymous Paul Horner said...

I want to pet Jim Tressel

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Peter said...

Pet him? Hell, I want to stick my flaming cock in his asshole as I squeeze his man tits.

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Alex Zack said...

I am sorry to say but this blog is about as stimulating as a steaming pile of dog shit. Whoever created this blog is a sick, demented individual who should probably be locked up.

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Adrian Arrington said...

RIP coach. RIP.

12:13 PM  
Anonymous James Badger said...

Jim Tressel is quite the sexy whore.

9:09 PM  
Anonymous HorseCock Jones said...

Coach coulda been a contenda!
Dead MF'er, RIP beeyotch.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Scott Cooper said...

I know it, too, for the ol' Tressler sucked my dick last week. It was fuckin' great, let me tlel you that much. I'm tellin' you, if he asks to blow you, take him up on that offer. Guy can suck like a son of a bitch.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous Tender Tits Thompson said...

Fuck you, Tressel. Fuck you for not posting anymore. I want to shit on your chest for this injustice, you fuckin' maggot.

8:11 PM  
Anonymous Scott goldstein said...

Coach Tressel,

You look hot with a beard.

8:18 AM  
Anonymous JIm Buck said...

To Scott Goldstein- That's a bit gay, is it not?

To Jim Tressel- Would it kill you to post once in a while here?

To Scott Cooper- I doubt he sucked your dick. I don't think Tressel swings that way.

To Tony Sullican- That shit shit is so played out, man.

To Dick Tough Kenny Stapleton- fuck you, nigga. You are in jail for being a stupid motherfucker. You be happy with whatever privileges you have. Don't tell us what to do, you piece of shit

9:37 PM  
Anonymous Chris Sands said...

I have not posted here in quite a while.

Let me just say that everytime I come here I get instant wood looking at the picture of the bikini bitches on the beach. The black one and the pasty white one really get my dick going. Pardon me, while I go rub one out!

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Dan Glenner said...

To Chris Sands,
That black bitch IS hot! You have good taste, man. However, I am not into that pasty white bitch. I like the chunkier one on the end in the green-blue bikini. I have used her for my masturbation sessions just as much as I used the black bitch.

Other babes I jerked off to this month include (and I know it's early, only October 8, but I slap it a lot)- Hannah Montana, Teri Polo, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Michelle Pfeiffer, Vanessa Williams, Briana Banks, Sunshine Adams, Jennifer Garner, Elvira, Vanessa Carlton, and Paris Hilton.

Good times. Good times.

7:27 PM  
Anonymous Alex Zack said...

Dan Glenner- That's a bit disturbing. By my count that is 13 girls you whacked it to this month (the 11 you noted in the 2nd paragraph and the two from Tressel's beach photo). If those were all separate incidents you jerked off either 12 or 13 times (maybe you whacked it to the bikini girls at the same time).

How does your dick do it? I can only whack once a day, if that.

This month I played with myself four or five times. Alicia Keys and Michelle Monaghan were the sources. Monaghan will be on the Craig Ferguson program in maybe 10 minutes. I'm going to pull my dick out and get ready!

10:16 PM  
Anonymous dan glenner said...

Dear Alex Zack,

How do I do it?

Answer- I don't anymore. On Monday after work I was tossing a football around in the parking lot. I could not throw good at all. I went to see a doctor on Tuesday night about it. I thought I may have torn my rotator cuff or some shit. It turns out my arm is nothing more than very sore. The doctor asked what I had been doing. I lied and said I was lifting weights. He told me to take it easy for a week.

You know how there is fiddler's elbow and swimmer's ear? I guess you can say I have masturbator's arm.

4:13 PM  
Anonymous Grant Edmunds said...

stop it! srop it please. do you guys realise that whenever I check here for more Treessel posts I read these messages? and you guys give me boners, beautiful boners and I just want to feel myself all night long

7:16 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

I will come right out and say it. About a half hour ago, I masturbated to the picture of Tressel wearing a Santa Claus outfit. Beautiful body and face.

I would love to tap that ass.

Call me again if you want another blowjob. You know I'll always blow you, but I want to see you take all your clothes off for me. I want to lay in bed with you and I want you to play with me.

8:18 PM  
Anonymous Dan Glenner said...

My dick just farted.

5:31 PM  
Anonymous dan glenner said...

I wish I could still jerk off.

8:35 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay Lohan said...

Oh my God ~ Coach, *please* come back so we have something more stimulating to read than the posts made by these fucking retards.

Seriously ~ you're #1 again in the BCS (as if there was ever any doubt!) You can afford to go out on the town in your hovercraft, do some blow, & poke a few skanky pieholes w/hooker happy Henton ~ then compose a mighty fine song about the whole thing to post on your blog.

C'mon coach ~ satisfy your fans & you can satisfy yourself all over my face ;)

Your gal & #1 fan,

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Mark Credle said...

Re: Tender Tits Thompson

Your comment was the funniest thing I read all month.

You rock, bro.

6:47 PM  
Anonymous Scott Goldstein said...

Hi Lindsay,

Would you like to blow me, too?
I can only assure you my cock is grand (7.4 inches when I have a boner). I'll shave my balls if you want to suck them, too.

I am also willing to let you do some lines of crack on my stomach.

4:09 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Dan Glenner said he jerked off to Hannah Montana. That is sick. Isn't she only 14 years old?

I be jackin off to porn stars and bitches like Jennifer Lopez, Mary J. Blige, and Kate Hudson. I don't be gettin' wood from 14 year old hoes.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous beano Cook said...

I want Lindsay Lohan to suck my cock, too.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay Lohan said...

Screw you guys ~ it's the coach or no one.

Seth, who are you trying to kid with that 7.4" boner. Everyone knows Jews have small cocks. The only reason they circumcise is to make it look bigger.

Jimmy T's #1 gal all the way,

8:11 PM  
Anonymous dan glenner said...

To Steven Swain,

What does it matter how old Hannah Montana is? She is hot and all I am doing is masturbating.

8:54 PM  
Anonymous clark stuifer said...

Maybe this is disgusting, but I don't care.

Look at all the stuff I did tonight:
ate my girlfriend's ass (we cleaned it real good beforehand)

had diarrhea

masturbated to the new Britney Spears video

My girlfriend watched me jerk off. I shot my load onto a paper plate. She licked it all up.

9:12 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

There is much masturbation talk here. I might as well put in my two cents.

Lately, I have been furiously masturbating to Jim Tressel (as always), Anderson Cooper, Tom Brady, and Ray Allen.

7:02 PM  
Anonymous dan glenner said...


I saw my doctor again today. He told me to rest my arms for another week. He suggested I lift lighter weights through the end of the year! Of course, he doesn't know this is a masturbation issue- not a weight lifting issue!

Hey Lindsay,
I have a date with some magazines with you on the cover on Halloween night, baby!!!!

7:08 PM  
Anonymous Alex Zack said...

I just scratched the very top of my ass crack. I then had my finger by my face and I caught a whiff of ass. My ass smells like ass.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Chris Sands said...

I say we turn this into our own masturbation log site.
We can all keep a log of the people we jerked off to. Even the gay guy Frank can join in.

I'll be back later tonight to tell you who I jerked off to this morning.

2:50 PM  
Anonymous Chris Sands said...

This morning before work I jerked off to Cathe Friedrich's fitness show on channel 368 on DIRECTV. She's not hot. She looks like a soccer mom or some shit, but she is good looking enough to get my dick pumping.

Let the masturbation log show I jerked it to Cathe Friedrich on 10/24/07 at 7:00am.

I think I'm going to get her again tomorrow morning.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Alex Zack said...


I will jerk myself to sleep while thinking of that wrestler bitch Sable.

9:56 PM  
Anonymous Scott Goldstein said...

A good jerk and a squirt doesn't sound too bad this morning.
Put me down for 11am, 10/27.

7:28 AM  
Anonymous Dr. Alex King said...

Mark me down for 8:30am on Sunday, October 28. I masturbated to various women in one of my wife's lady magazines, InStyle or something- what the fuck do I know.

Thing is I shot my load into the cup I was using to mix eggs for omelettes. I made sure I served my wife the omelette which included my sperm.

Is that fucking great or what?

She didn't even say anything about it. She ate it all!

9:25 AM  
Anonymous chris sands said...

I'm getting Cathe Friedrich tomorrow morning at 7am again.

I love sploogin' to that bitch.

To Dr. Alex King,

That is a bad ass story, man. I want to do that someday.

9:38 PM  
Anonymous Chris Harper said...

I fucked myself while watching the new Britney Spears Gimme More video today. I'm talking a classic cock feeling session. I shot my load off my bed into my waste paper basket.

5:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

godammmm update this motherfucker!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous Kenneth said...

Oh shiky. I haven't been here in quite a while and now I see you guys talking about one of my favorite topics- masturbation.

Let me tell you what I did last night. I had the heat on in my house and was also under a warm blanket. So I took my underwear off when I got into bed. I started to feel myself, but fell asleep before I could climax. I woke up several hours later. It was 3:05am. I had night wood so I decide to beat it off. I ended up squirting my goo all over my stomach. I then rubbed it around my stomach and chest. I got up a few minutes later to get the goo off with a paper towel. Otherwise if I went back to sleep the goo would have got on my blanket.

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Scott Harris said...

All this writing of masturbation is making me wanting to pull my cock a little tonight. This Tila Tequila show on MTV looks a little promising with all the scantily clad bitches but there are too many guys on the show.

I think I'm just going to pull out some Hustler and Cheri magazines. I did get the latest Swank in the mail recently, but haven't looked at it yet. Wait, that's it. I'll spank to Swank. All the tits and twats in the latest issue will especially excite me for the newness factor.

My cock is starting to raise just thinking about it.

6:04 PM  
Anonymous scott goldstein said...

we should organize a Tressel's World Mastrubation event. We'll pick a date and a time where we will all beat our meat. Then we'll all come on here (after coming on towels or whatever) and post who we beat off to and all.

8:25 PM  
Anonymous scott goldstein said...

Let the log show I am going to smack my cock at 11:55pm on October 30 to these photos of Vanessa Hudgens.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No wonder Tress doesn't update, this is like a room full of 13 year olds.

Big 10 nonconference record is 33-8 this year, 32-5 without Minnesota, weakest conference in the BCS?

Big one this week, Badgers always play us tough, better stay focused.

OK kids, back to your juvenile potty talk!

12:00 AM  
Anonymous Scott Cooper said...

Mark me down for some Halloween monkey slappin'. I'm going to beat the ol' pecker at around 7ish.

3:21 PM  
Anonymous Dan Glenner said...

Oh no! It's the attack of the masturbating Scotts!

Good news, people. Tomorrow, Friday November 2, I will jerk off once again.

I have it all planned out. After work I will stop at the newstand and pick up some nudie mags. I will go home and put on Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger" as I undress myself. I will then drape my fleece blanket around my torso as I walk around on my bed as my dick rises. I shall then jump off the bed and beat my cock senseless.

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Peter said...

Im going to tell a tale of msturbation tonight

2:44 PM  
Anonymous Dirk Richardson said...

I just saw this sight for the first time tonight. I saw a guy named S. Maven Sullivan advertising it on a Browns message board.

I masturbated while taking a shit at work today. It was around 3pm.

4:54 PM  
Anonymous peter said...

I forgot to go back here last night to tell my tale.

At Boston University in 1998 I masturbated in my dorm room. I was wearing my roommate's boxer shorts while watching boxing. I took the boxer shorts off. The sweaty black guys punching each other got me hard and stiff. I then shot my load onto my roommate's boxer shorts. He came back from class while I was recovering on the floor. I was covered in sweat and my dick was starting to contract. I had shot my load about 2 minutes earlier. My roommate saw this and took off all his clothes and stuck his cock in my ass. It was great.

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Peter, are you for real? if so, I would love to hook up with you at an Ohio State game.
I am 5'9" 150 pounds and I have a 6 inch dick. I am always game for new cock.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Chris Sands said...

I will splooge to Cathe Friedrich in about 10 minutes.

Let the masturbation log show I did the deed a little after 7am on 11/5/07.

Hey Cathe- you're mine, bitch.

Take my sperm and like it, baby.

3:56 AM  

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