Saturday, July 22, 2006

Jimbo Takes Manhattan



Hey Kids. It's me Tressel, Coach Jim Tressel. Fah Get about it! This weekend I made a trip to the Big Apple for a little recruiting. Too bad all I recruited was crabs, and some dank schwag. I went and saw Avenue Q. It was OK. I like puppets.

I got a hot tip on a Tailback at Marcus Garvey High School in East Harlem. Now I don't know much about New York, but from what I've heard there are quite a lot of street gangs. Now I've reached out to troubled youths, Maurice Clarette, Troy Smith, Andy Katsemoyer, but I've never had to deal with New York Street Gangs. To prepare I rented The Warriors from Blockbuster. I also listened to Mase's Harlem World. I watched it over and over and over. As you can see by this outfit, within a few days I was fully able to assimilate into New York gang culture, thanks to this movie. At least I would have been, except I got picked up in the park on my way uptown. I made the mistake of getting off the subway on Park Ave. to get a Choco Taco from an ice cream vendor.

Ah well, live and learn.

42 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I jerked off on a bench one night at Central Park. I hope you ejaculated there, too.

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To anonymous,

That is disgusting. People like you should be shot. You are a disgrace. You sick fuck,

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He does have quite the dick, I'll give him that.

1:20 PM  
Anonymous Steve Swain said...

What is up with the dick talk?

I mean, you can't really see it anyway because of the thong.

12:28 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

OH, I just wanted to say this website is really cool. I have printed out a number of the articles. I taped a couple to my wall and then I also posted one at a bus stop (I did this last night after dark so nobody would see me), and taped one to a bathroom door at work so people can read it when they poop.

This site rocks!

Steve

6:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just so everyone knows, Andy Katzenmoyer didn't played at Ohio State under Jim Tressel. The coach at that time was John Cooper. I smell a rat.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Yeah, the guy who writes this blog is clearly a phony. No way would tressell put out this junk himself. I will send this to Ohio State and maybe they will buy out this blog and get it removed.
I found my son reading this trash last night. Luckily, he's only 8 and probably doesn't understand most of this adult stuff.
Of course, he did ask me why Tressell was dressed like a woman.

10:25 AM  
Blogger Boston Strangler said...

shut the fuck up pat, you 'mo

make em mad jimbo

12:13 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

to Pat,

Did you tell your son that Tressell was dressed as your wife?

Sooner or later your son will be getting boners and he'll hear all sorts of sex jokes at school by the times he's 10 or 11. I bet he'll fuck by the time he is 12. Just feel good that you'll have two more years before he starts masturbating.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Coach,
You must be busy getting high and arrested with Mo.
Come on back, Coach!

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Mike said...

"Me and [Tressel] have become cool again. I was talking to Jim Tressel earlier, and said, 'Thank you for being real.' He's been real to me, and I've been real to myself. I don't run from nothing anymore.''

Damn Coach, I guess this is a textbook example of when keeping it real goes wrong. What advice did you give to Clarett on this fateful night?

12:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FREE MAURICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Phillip said...

Will Maurice have sex in jail?

12:27 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Hey Pat,

The blog is still up, bitch!

10:12 PM  
Anonymous BIll said...

Tressell,

What the fuck's the hold up? I come on here after a long fuckin' day of working, then going home to do yard work, and then I got wasted, I mean fuckin' wasted watching preseason football. After that long fuckin' day I jumped on here and expected to be entertained by your latest fuckin' post. But the most recent one is this same fucker. Update this shit, bitch!

I read this fuckin' thing two weeks ago. I remember it well cuz I read it the night i FUCKED MY NEIGHBOR.

10:48 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

Bill,

Come down, you crazy son of a bitch.

12:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm comin' to your underwear,
I'm comin' to your underwear,
Today!

1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

YO COACH!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU????? THE PEEPS NEED YOU!!!!!

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Pam said...

Yes, come back here.

As you can see we have resorted to entertaining ourselves. There have been some scintillating troll wars here of late!

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

hey Frank,

"Come down"

It figures you would use such a phrase, you fuckin faggot.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous Dan Da Man said...

Holy shit, did this blow up. I saw "20 comments" and thought I'd read about you fuckers spotting Tressell in Manhattan. Much to my enjoyment, it was even better with the Steven-Frank-Bill shit talking battle. I say, keep at it fellas.

If Tressell stops entertaining us with his brilliant posts, then I'll settle for this comments page instead.

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Believe you me I have contacted The Ohio State University. They may have already taken action. That is why "Coach Tressel" has not posted here of late.

I have a a feeling the loser who created this blog will be reprimanded in some way.

Pat

11:36 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

I have noticed that I spelled Coach Tressel's name incorrectly and that all you losers copied my typo. That goes to show you that you are all clowns. You don't know the real Jim Tressel. You just like this website because the sick man who created it is getting his jollies off of making fun of great Americans. You should all be ashamed of yourselves and really need to get lives. I am truly appalled. I hate having to deal with the fact my son read this sick, sick, disgusting trash.

11:39 PM  
Anonymous Ron said...

and yet you keep comming back to comment, Pat. LOL!

7:50 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Ron,

I hope you find something else to humor you when this website gets deleted.

7:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

go fuck yourself Pat

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Steve Swains said...

Pat,

It is clear this blog is staying put. I advise you to fight your battles elsewhere, you cretin.

There is no sense in getting everyone worked up here.

Just leave and leave now and don't ever come back, you stupid motheruckiin' bitxh.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Alex Boone said...

pat, why dont you get off of this message board if you dont believe that this is legit. coach tressel is like a father to me, without him i would be dead or in jail. i used to drink 40 to 50 beers a day until coach showed me the light. i can say with 100 percent certainty that this is the man, the myth, the legend himself. now if you excuse me, ive got to get my goose on

12:22 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Alex Boone,

Why does he post photoshopped pictures of himself?

I can't imagine Tressel posting trash like this. The only way I could see it would be for the fact if he wanted to mean for this to be a joke and only a few select people would know about it.

Maybe I'm just ignorant to this. Sorry, because I really thought this was not really Jim Tressel posting all this stuff.

If it is Jim Tressel, I'll say this:

Good luck to you Coach. I hope we have a good season and kick the Wolverines asses. I am sorry that I may have offended you.

Cordially yours,

Pat

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Steve Swain,

Drunk at work again?

You couldn't even type your own name correctly!

Thanks for giving me the best laugh I had all day!

Pat

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pat,
Are you really that obtuse? I bet you weren't expecting a comment like that here, were you? Anyway, why did your son read this page? Were you too with work/YOUR life to raise him and keep an eye on him? If YOU were a "great American" you would have kept an eye on where he was surfing and not have to try to spoil this for everyone! FUCK YOU!

9:31 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

He was looking for Ohio state sites and this one came up, he said.
I walked into the den and saw my son looking at photos of Tressel in women's underwear.
I have come to realize this may really be Tressel's blog and that is why Ohio State keeps it running.

I will send Tressel a letter to let him know the dangers that a site like this could have on children. I might just write it here.

Pat

7:07 AM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Hey Pat,

Your son was wearing women's underwear while viewing this site?
Maybe you should take your son to a psychologist instead of writing stupid letters to Ohio State that will be read by an intern and dumped into the trash can.

5:01 PM  
Anonymous Maurice said...

Thank God they got computers in da joint. How else I gonna keep up wit what ol' coach got to say?

You crazy ass bitchez dont know from shit. Ohio State suckz the nut. Dey cain't keep me outta jail----or the newspaperz...how they gon' keep Coach T from postin his blog up???

I knows coach real good, an' u can suck deez nuts if you dont think this shit iz on da real.

I don' blame Coach fo' what he done to me, or fo' when he put lead in my shoes before I run the 40 at the combine. Keep keepin' it real, T!!!!

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Maurice said...

PS--

Yo Pat, you lil bitch!!!! When I git out dis place I'm gonna find you kid and start sellin 'him rocks!

A to the muthafukin K, Bitchezz!!

10:28 PM  
Anonymous Steven Swain said...

Hey Pat,

Yes, I was hammered the other day when I spelled my name wrong. I just noticed that this morning!

We went out for lunch that day and had some beers and then I drank two more in the office bathroom in the afternoon.

Hey Maurice,

That's cool, man. Great to see you posting.

8:12 AM  
Anonymous Supreme Allah said...

Pat,
You are such a stupid fucking retard it boggles my mind, believe you me. Seriously, it makes me sad to find out you have a child. Darwin must really be asleep at the wheel. Stupid gullible fucks like you are what's wrong with the world. Why don't you do that kid of yours a favor and put him up for adoption. Also, the fact that you can vote makes me cry.

P.S. You could die tomorrow and it wouldn't matter.

1:46 AM  
Anonymous Gareth from Down Under said...

CHOCO TACO!

WHAT A GREAT NAME!

Man, I can't wait to visit NYC.

I started to become interesting in gridiron when former footy star Ben Graham play with the Jets team. Then I saw Ohio State in Fiesta Bowl and they are my favorite college club now.

Thanks for this great site. Hipefully, I can keep in touch and up to date on what is going on in the coach's life. Good day to all.

12:25 PM  
Anonymous Smokey McPot said...

For future reference Coach Tressel (you big drug user you), the phrase "dank shwag" makes no sense. Shwag is garbage weed (stems & seeds, occasional pencil shavings). Dank weed is REALLY FUCKING GOOD WEED. Therefore, you cannot have Dank Shwag.

Lay off the coke.

The entire state of Ohio, including OSU, can suck my ass.

Funny blog though. Good job.

2:01 AM  
Anonymous I-M-Tressel said...

OK - this site is kind of sick...but check this out, it's even better.

www.fireJtressel.com

3:37 PM  
Anonymous kamagra gel said...

What a ridiculous image, I don't know how this man had the courage to do something like that, he was totally a !"knight" because that costume ...my God was terrible.m10m

1:18 PM  
Anonymous pharmacy said...

Omg i can't believe it, I wonder why tv shows let do this happen hahah actually i can say publicity, but no... i guess it's something else, something personal...

8:57 AM  

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