Thursday, October 26, 2006

Rasbery Scones!!!!

Blah Blah. Fuck shit damint. Razamtaz gobbledy gook. Titties. Big ole titties. Hovercrafts. Random arcane Ohio State Buckeyes Reference. I just did so much blow. Ha ha ha. Sweater vest. Fuckin' some hos!!!! Maurice Clarette. Make fun of retarded people. I just smoked weed!!!! Rap-ity dap dap. Wooo. Now I'm a gangstah Rapper. Blah Blah. Krenzel's a homo.

Varias decenas de civiles han muerto durante una operación de la OTAN contra los talibanes al sur de Afganistán, en la provincia de Kandahar, han informado hoy medios locales y testigos que elevan a 63 la cifra de fallecidos. La Alianza, por su parte, ha reconocido que en los bombardeos murieron civiles, aunque no ha precisado el número.

More hovercrafts. Troy smith is black!!!! Fuck you Charlie Weiss. Robots. Blah Blah Blah.

Durb a durb, durb durb durb durb.@!@!@!@!@!@#!#3838382041u0hjafdil;fnd ao;894urqo0tj3qpovhohjvo;anc voahvo cna. Justin Zwick.

Michigan. Hey why do some clouds look like people and some clouds look like nothing.

I'm gonna go blow my fucking brains out....


Anonymous Pat said...

Hey, grab hold of yourself, Jimboat.

Do not kill yourself, you crazy son of a bitch.

Go talk to the people at counseling at OSU.

They should be able to help you, you sick bastard.

7:23 PM  
Anonymous bellefay1 said...

your diet works WONDERS!!!

thanks to the coach way of getting a 6 pack and a steady diet of meth, i'm down to 97 pounds!

thanks coach....

8:34 AM  
Anonymous maurice said...

Damm, Coach!

Jus' cuz I sold you dem crack rocks don' mean ya had ta' smoke 'em all at once!!

Also, I din' know you spoke espanol. I bin learnin' it in da's I can get my coke empire up an' runnin when I gets out. Consiga un asimiento de se, tu tienen una carrera del rap a pensar alrededor, muthafucka!


9:37 AM  
Anonymous chewy said...

you better sober up before saturday jimbo...

11:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you're having a coke induced stroke you fuckin' whack job! Go hang in Gonzo's hyperbaric chamber for awhile and you'll feel better.

3:08 PM  
Anonymous Thad Matta said...

Billy Joel sucks my cock.

Furthermore, my farts are like goddamn precious diamonds. They are hard to find and only come around once in a while. They are so good you could give them to your wife on your anniversary. I bottle them up and it's like a scented candle bottle, but instead of jasmine or honeysuckle it is my ass juice.

3:14 PM  
Anonymous Alex Boone said...

I think Coach was listing all the reasons this site kicks ass.

3:38 PM  
Anonymous sylvester stabone said...

I second that emotion, Mr. Alex Boone.

Show me that smile again. (Show me that smile)
Don't waste another minute on your cryin.
We're nowhere near the end (nowhere near)
The best is ready to begin.

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Coach you know I am all about pounding beaver. Hell why do you think I drive that fucking PT Cruiser? To score with soccer moms, duh! I love the older pussy, especially if they are married. You don't have to take em out, they just come over, fuck, and leave. Don't worry T-bone Mrs. T is safe, she is definitely not my style.
Well back to smoking the ole' piece pipe and then to pick up Mrs. Donovan for a little suck and fuck. She is this hot 42 year old accountant and has a little brat named Timmy, who is a huge fan of me. Little Timmy is going to be even more proud when he finds out I have been giving his mom the gorilla mask and uppercutting her in the musty nacho.

P.S. the gorilla mask is when you bust in some cunt's face and then throw your pubes so they stick to her face, giving her a gorilla mask look.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

I am sorry, but I don't understand what you are saying with the gorilla mask look. You ejaculated onto the woman's vagina and then you picked up your semen and tossed it at her face?

11:10 PM  
Anonymous Steve Guttenberg said...

the content of this post is the same random series of words and ideas that go through my head while i wait for your awesome posts to download. you make a has been - feel like a "have to be". thanks jimbo

1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pat- do you even have a dick?

6:52 AM  
Anonymous Pat said...

I have a dick.

What was your point, shithead?

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just jacked off Coach. It was unbelievable. You should try it instead of working out or doing drugs.

11:31 PM  
Anonymous The Flying Dutchman Craig Wolf said...

dear Thad,

Don't lie to yourself. Nobody cares about your fart smells. Loser.

I am quite sure you enjoy the smell of your own farts. 99% of the population ejoys smelling themselves. I know I sure as fuck do.
Also, 99% of the population hates smelling other people's farts. I fall into that category. I do not want to smell your farts, you sick man.

I would make exceptions for the farts of Jessica Alba and the latest Playboy Playmate.

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Pat are you some kind of dislexic, hooked-on-phonics failing, homo? I said you bust your nut in her face and then throw her/your pubes at her face so it looks like a fucking gorilla.
On a personal note I just want to say that my nose is itching for some of that peruvian fire right now. Oh and little Timmy got to watch this weekend as his hero yours trluy skull fucked his mom. I knew I should have locked the door but eh fuck it I could tell by his tears he was amazed by the sight. I just hope he keeps his promise and doesn't tell his dad. I would hate to see his dad fall victim to my boy Mo C and a goose-fueled AK attack.

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

frisky dingo on adult swim rocks, you should check it out coach.
can't you just toy with the teams you choose to destroy and make the games a little closer, your sheer dominance on the field is making my saturdays borring. maybe next week you could play keep away until they cry.

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the gorrilla mask is also known as the abe lincoln.

11:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Who is little Timmy?

3:19 PM  
Anonymous Ken Slowpot said...

Yo Tressel,

Did you do any mischief tonight?

I did. I threw eggs at houses and I threw toilet paper on some trees.

It got me horny and I will now masturbate.

7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


3:45 AM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

I don't know what the little shit machine's name is. I just called him Timmy, for shits...

6:38 PM  
Anonymous Donny said...


You let your son watch you fuck?


Was that supposed to be a subliminal message? If so, it worked. I just gassed out my geky roommate! He left the room to study in the lounge after my gas attack.

8:26 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...


Did you dress up for Halloween?

I dressed as Lloyd Carr.

4:15 AM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Shut the fuck up Donny! you're like a child who wanders in halfway through a movie and wants to know what has happened so far. I'm the fucking Krenz, I don't have any kids. (that I recognize legally anyway) Christ it's like telling stories to retards, with all of you hooked-on-phonics failing motherfuckers.

6:39 AM  
Anonymous Donny said...

Then who the fuck is Timmy?

3:44 PM  
Anonymous Alex Boone said...

timmy is a bastard child. only he doesn't know.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Dr. Anthony Blake said...

You better beat Michigan, you fuck.

I have faith you will do so.

4:21 PM  
Anonymous Sam Carter said...

Hey now, haven't you people ever heard of closing the goddamn door now. It's much better to face these kinds of things with a rise in personality.

Letting Timmy watch was a bad mistake, krenezel.

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Brian Brohm said...

I hope all of you Suckeye fans saw the beating we gave West Virginia tonight, because its only going to get worse for Tressel's Troops. January 8th, 2007. Mark it down as the end of an era.

And let me say thanks to Troy Smith. Troy, thanks for keeping the Heisman warm for me. But i'll be taking over now if you don't mind. Actually, who gives a fuck what you think. Brian Brohm is just that fucking good.

12:10 AM  
Anonymous troy smith said...

mr. brohm, sir please allow me to prepare you for some disappointment. for when i recieve the heisman this year - and mark my words i shall, i willl place that material mark of my hard work and achievement in my freezer. then i shall ever so gently place it inside your mother's cornhole before i make sweet, sweet monkey love to it. it's a little manuver me and the chaps call the fudgesicle, my hero and best friend coach jim informed me that back when he was a youth it was refered to as the chilly willy.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Oliver Ironrodson said...

Tressel is a pimp!

I just found out about this site today at work.

I also think it is cool some of his former and current players post here!


I'm out

3:41 PM  
Anonymous Alex Friedlington said...

I really hope Coach goes into rehab soon.

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Mario Garciason said...

This is hip.
I'm feelin' the vibe, I'm feelin' the vibe.

6:41 PM  
Anonymous Bob Keedlingthrush said...

I don't have sex. I breed.

8:17 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...


Do you get boners from Michelle Wie?

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Paul said...

re: Bob Keedlingthrush

Ha ha! I remember that line! You must have also gone to school with Jim. That's easily the funniest thing he ever said and probably one of the top five funniest lines I've ever heard.

8:01 AM  
Anonymous Arthur Spurlsflither said...

You shouldn't have done crack during the season, asshole. I lost today by picking your fucking team to cover.

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Brian Brohm said...

You must have been on crack betting the Suckeyes in the first place. Next time you should wager on a real team, such as Louisville.

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Arthur said...


I will do that in the future. I will pick Louisville against Rutgers and I will pick Michigan over Ohio State. Fuck the Buckeyes. I lost 500 dollars on that Illinois game because the fuckin' coach is a crackhead. Get off the drugs and back on the game, shithead Tressel.

4:09 AM  
Anonymous Brian Brohm said...


Nice to see you've come to your senses. If I was you, i would bet a lot more than 500 on Louisville Thursday. Trust me. I won't let you down like that overrated Troy Smith, who plays with a dozen first round picks. I lost my only talented teammate week one, but I still get the job done.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Arthur said...


I think your wide receivers are good players.

3:31 PM  
Anonymous Pete said...


Any chance I could hang out with you in the locker room after a game?

Let me know. I'll be in attendance for the Michigan game.

6:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pete's post does it. This is the most homoerotic football website I have ever come across.

Guys wanting to hang out in locker rooms, Tressel wearing women's clothing, guys asking other guys if they received erections, guys talking about masturbation, a guy posting about receiving fellatio from Billy Joel, a guy posting from jail (you just know he's taking it in the ass), Steve Swain douchin' it up, Frank acting flamboyant, etc.

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...


What the fuck, man?

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Brian Brohm said...

This site is homoerotic because most of you Suckeye fans are homos. This site helps you sick bastards express your repressed faggot tendencies.

Arthur, it may seem like we have good recievers in the Ville of Louis. But the fact is, I make them look good, whereas Troy Smith has the best recievers every year (Santonio Holmes '05, Ted Ginn '06). So tommorow, go spread the word. VOTE BROHM FOR HEISMAN!!!!!!!!

9:36 PM  
Anonymous Chris said...

I will vote Brohm for Heisman. Also, I hope nobody at Ohio State knees any Michigan players in the man region like Tyler Brayton did.

4:08 AM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Brian, You realize that Louisville is going to get fucked by Rutgers right?

Hell even if you don't there is no way your gimpy ass survives against the Buckeyes!!

7:23 AM  
Anonymous maurice said...

YO Bro-ham!!

Say Suckeyes again, Mothafucka!! I double dares ya. Yo man, I been one place worse than jail, an' Looseville is it.

Y'all got about as much chance at a hiesman as I got at gettin' da charges dropped. You ain't even from the same planit at T-boy, an' even that cracka-ass pussy Brady Quinn could throw a 40-yard rocket straight up yo ass.

Ch-ch-check yaself, beeyatch.


3:50 PM  
Anonymous Chris said...

I want to ask Tressel a question.

One night last week, I was madly horny. I was so horny I would have cut out a hole in the nearest stuffed animal to fuck it. Instead, I stuck my left index finger up my ass while jerking off with my right hand.
There has been a slight tickle in my asshole for the past five days.
This is cool. But how disturbed is it?
My educated guess is Jim Tressel does that same thing. I mean, he wears a thong for crying out loud.

8:23 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

I just read that post and now have the urge to fondle myself.

11:11 PM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Frank and Chris you are obviously Michigan fans or Michigan State fans because noone else would come up with the dumbest and gayest comments I have seen on my old coaches website. Please refrain from posting anymore nonsense and go back to fucking Michigan!!

P.S. I still say I am a better QB than that faggot Grossman!!! Who gets pounded by Arizona and the Fins?

10:05 AM  
Anonymous Brian Brohm said...

Krenzel, I agree you are a better QB than Blowsman. But that is like saying sucking cock is better than getting fucked in the ass. And if you want to see a good ass fucking, watch my performance against Rutgers tonight. (8:00 EST, ESPN)

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Jim said...

Hey guys and gals. Check out my first porn scene.

I love being up in some black ass.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


You have very small testicles.

5:11 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

hey Brian Brohm- go fuck yourself, you soft ass fairy fuck.

9:30 PM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Brian how are those ribs feeling today. You got fucked up pretty much all night last night. Don't ever diss my skills at QB again with your 145 yd. night against Rutgers. It wasn't even a good team it was fucking Rutgers.

6:14 AM  
Anonymous Brian Brohm said...

Guys, I have shamed myself, and all the Louisville fans across the world. There is no excuse, I played like shit. The only thing I can fall back on is the millions of dollars I will make being the next great QB in the NFL. But still, this one hurts.

10:23 AM  
Anonymous Krenzel said...

Yea you have now moved to a third rounder at best homo!! have fun sucking dick on the street after failing out of the NFL. I still have my 6 figure making degree in Molecular Genetics.

P.S. You will never have anything that amounts to my pussymobile the PT Cruiser!!

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Alex Boone said...



2:15 PM  
Anonymous o.g. bucknut said...

Holy shit, brohm.

Your squad dropped to its knees faster than an Ann Arbor High School cheerleader with a half-empty bottle of Smirnoff Ice.

Far as I'm concerned, the National Championship Game will be played on Nov. 18th in Columbus.

Seriously, do all you fuckers realize that if the rest of the world can't get its collective shit together in the next two weeks, OSU and Those Fuckers From Up North might actually play AGAIN in Arizona?? God Bless the BCS.

No wonder Tressel has gone insane.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Jesse said...

Tressel has nice pants. I wonder if he will cream them onn the sidelines when he beats Michigan.

10:55 PM  
Anonymous Adrian Arrington said...

U R a punk beyotch coach.
Stay off the damn field too. Are you trying to letter, or what??

12:47 PM  
Anonymous Cinco Ocho said...


You need to concentrate on being the 5th best receiver on a shitty team. I heard Mike Hart is really a woman, that's why he doesn't shower with the team.

Chad Henne is a bitch.
The only good thing to come out of Ann Arbor was Bob Segar, and even he is kinda pussy.

5:20 PM  
Anonymous Greg said...


Let me blow you.

8:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

let me fuck that smile off your face, fretty vad bviy fkityd. so what if my balls itch, it's noyarul air iwas going foir cause we have thata akready ytou dumnb four-eyed sixck. fuck you nixon ass bitch

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Bill said...

re: Chris

You are a fuckin' homo

2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

post and post soon you sweet vest wearing son of a bitch. i know it not all about football but what the fuck am i supposed to think about until saturday. write something and soon. SOOOOOOOON!

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to play beach blanket bingo with coach Tressel.

8:53 PM  
Anonymous maurice said...


I know you gettin' ready fo' da game -- We all gon' be watchin' in the pen. I got 12 packs a' smokes ridin' on dis bitch. Anywayz, I only gets 20 min a week on dis machine, an' right now I'm gon' uze em to drop science!

When I step to the mic, yo, the room explodes
Niggaz pound 40s, ho’s take off clothes
I spit mad tight lyrics over gangsta grooves,
I got ol’ school flow wit’ a tailback’s moves
I’d be livin’ tha life if I wuzn’t in jail
Ridin’ Bentleys, smokin’ herbs an’ gettin’ lotsa tail
So you best watcha back, cuz I’m tunnelin’ out
Then I’ll tunnel my dick right into Mary J’s mouth
I be drinkin’ Cristal when I sign my deal
But don’ worry bout Mo, yo, I keeps it real

‘Cuz that’s about the time the crime spree begins
I need mo’ than gold records to make my endz

I’ll jack LeBron’s ride when da bitch ain’t lookin’
He got so much money, he’ll never know I took it
I’ll roll down to campus wit’ my favorite gun
Then we’ll see how fast Ted Ginn can run
Then I’ll knock, knock on my man Troy Smith’s door
An’ fuck all his bitchez when I knock him to tha floor
But yo, after that, it’ll be all good
I’ll drive him in the whip down to Coach T’s hood
‘Cuz Tressel is the Don of the Buckeye mob,
But he ain’t content to just steal an’ rob---

So we’ll smoke a fat blunt and hatch a National scheme
About a mystery playa, wearin’ number 13.

Go Buckz. Beat Michigan.


9:56 PM  
Anonymous Pat said...

Is the party still on for the Ohio State-Michigan game? I can't wait to meet that crazy Swain fucker. Just let me know and I'll tell you where my seats are, we'll meet somewhere in the stadium and we'll go from there.

4:50 PM  
Anonymous Jeff Norton said...

We get to hang out with Tressel, right? I might have to make the drive up from Kentucky for that.

I won't hang out in the locker room, like Pete will with Tressel. That's seriously fuckin' gay, you guys.

I don't need to see Troy Smith swinging his cock around.

7:12 PM  
Anonymous help me said...

What is beach blanket bingo and what is a nixon ass bitch?

5:53 PM  
Anonymous that girl said...

Tressel, you clam pounding turd, update already and give these homos something else to talk about.

Or maybe give Maurice the keys to tressel's world for a week and let him keep the dream alive while you're off recruiting an army of tweakers to do your bidding or whatever the fuck you're doing, but damn, get on it already.

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Ted said...

Beach blanket bingo is when you play Bingo on a beach blanket. It really is that simple.

If Treseel doesn't post anything this week he is a bigger asshole fuckhead than I thought. He has to post this week, this is a huge game against Michigan we have here.

3:29 PM  
Anonymous FRank said...

express yourself
you've got to make him express himself
hey hey hey hey
you got to believe it or else
or we'll show you how
express what you've got
baby make it or not

7:11 PM  
Anonymous Hot Dog Tim said...

fuck off Frank

8:30 PM  

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