Sunday, February 26, 2006

Jilted

Fucking bitch.

I spent easily ten grand on this fucking wedding. Ten grand. Do you know how many snack packs that is? That twat bailed on my Bucky. Ten minutes before the ceremony and she goes missing. How could you bail on a cat like Bucky. Made me look bad in front of Dr. Dre, and now guess who's probably lost his record deal? Needless to say the Buckster didn't take it well...

Still, all in all I made a new friend. Let's hear it for Kristin who made the journey all the way from DC, or wherever the hell it is she's from, just to be in the wedding. The wedding that didn't happen. But that didn't stop us from having a good time.

And one celebrity stuck around for the good time. Saturday night Ludacris, Kristin and I thought we'd try and cheer Buckster up. We took him out on the town to some of my favorite Kareoke bars. Here's Ludacris and I doing "Grillz".

Of course none of this fixes the fact I'm stuck with 248 chicken dinners. Or the fact that Bucky won't stop drinking Schlitz and listening to the Cure. Look what that cunt did to my Bucky...

He looks like Nick Nolte.
Ohhhh you know who I blame for this. That Waffles!!! I'll bet he had something to do with this. He's always trying to hurt my Bucky. Yet, I gotta hand it to him. He looked pretty smart in his tux.

If I ever see that cat again, I swear to god I'll fucking wring it's goddamn neck. I mean it. I'll throw it in a sack and drown the little cum dumpster.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heard rumors through the hobo grapevine that a ballsack with legs has been seen behind the Newport on High.

10:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jimmy I hear you are getting a raise. $2 Mill a year. Can't wait to see what you buy and consume next. You know what cracks me up is the Buckeye fans that get on here and complain. If you don't like it don't read it.

9:24 AM  
Blogger Jimmy Tressel said...

A hovercraft. A bigger, faster hovercraft.

10:10 AM  
Blogger Yost said...

I don't even care if you hate Michigan. You are a funny mofo Jimmy T. Great stuff.

10:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Waffles looks hott.

2:19 PM  
Blogger Mentos Fillapeedios said...

That one anonymous guy is just jealous that Michigan has a dork of a head coach.

9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who is the chick in the picture? You raw dawg it Jimmy?

9:42 AM  
Blogger Jimmy Tressel said...

Please, I'm a gentleman.

11:14 AM  

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