Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Happy VD day!

Dreams do come true!

Guess whose wife got him a little surprise Valentine's Day gift. Yupp, it's Tressel, Coach Jim Tressel, Hovercrafter!!!!

I guess she forgives/respects me for locking her in the Closet.

I would have written this little Valentines day post sooner but I was busy all day yesterday with my new present, Hoovercrafting all over campus, and all last night Schtupin' Mrs. T for her thoughtful gift. Let's just say my gift to her, a case of Old Miluakee and a box of rubbers, were put to good to use. I also gave her a backrub. Now that's romance! Take notes out there fellas and remember I'm more than just football. I can be quite the charmer when I put my mind to it.

Tressel Romance Tip #341: An adult film paired with a backrub and some cheap domestic beer can really set the mood for a night of hot, ball-draining love-making.

And speaking of romance I'll be announcing the winner of the "Name Tressel's Pussy" contest sometime tomorrow. You have until Midnight tonight to submit your entries. Remember a trip to the Tresselrosa for the uber cutie kitty wedding is on the line, so leave an email or a link to your website, or for chrissakes a name, or something.

Heh, I said entries.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

hovercraft!

5:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Puffy or Mr. Kitty
I can stop laughing at this stuff...Tressel is the man.

Jack H.

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Stumbled upon this somewhat by accident, but it's absolutely hilarious. I'll definitely be bookmarking for frequent visits!

Charlie

6:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My choice is......

"Booster"

10:56 PM  
Anonymous kristin said...

I would name the kitty "Arby" (is for roast beef (twat)). I mean lookit the kitty's skin color. I think you see my point. Hence: Arby.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Hornless Rhino said...

Coach John Cooper

12:50 PM  
Anonymous Dave said...

Name it Andy (as in KATZenmoyer), it'll be easier to train than that fucking genius.

3:11 PM  
Blogger scerwenzo said...

yo captain ahab, this is the true jim tressel from the halloween party at the harbor inn. hah. gotta say, I love everything about this blog, and I've been reading it ever since you told me about it. keep up the good work, it looks like you have some followers. my vote for the pussy's name: wangdoodle, is that too masculine?

8:27 PM  
Blogger Best Vest said...

Oh, fake tressel from the harbor inn. I was so pissed I didn't end up with a pic of your costume, krenzel and I were huffing paint and spent most of the night looking for hookers and meth. I wanted to post that pic and write about how someone had the big, big balls to pretend to be me. Listen brother: Stay white, keep it very, very wet and if I ever see you out there slandering my good name - I'll make a wallet out of your scotum. It really would be a spooge wallet. Stay tuned...

3:59 AM  
Blogger Best Vest said...

Oh, fake tressel from the harbor inn. I was so pissed I didn't end up with a pic of your costume, krenzel and I were huffing paint and spent most of the night looking for hookers and meth. I wanted to post that pic and write about how someone had the big, big balls to pretend to be me. Listen brother: Stay white, keep it very, very wet and if I ever see you out there slandering my good name - I'll make a wallet out of your scotum. It really would be a spooge wallet. Stay tuned...

4:00 AM  

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