Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Celebrity Playlist

Tressel, here. Coach Jim Tressel. So as many of you in the Tresselnation may know, I recently got one of those ipod videos for Xmas. Love it. Seriously it's up there with penicilin (something I also use alot of), as perhaps the greatest invention of the last hundred years. Add Two-a-Days to that list as well. Anywho, I heard Death Cab, one of my all-time favorite bands, had a celebrity playlist. I decided to check it out, and I must say, it was pretty good, but it got me thinking. Why don't I have a celebrity playlist? What the fuck did I ever do? Just win a national championship? Beat Michigan? Fuckin Cooper couldn't beat Michigan!

So here it is. My Celebrity Playlist. Steve Jobs, if your listenening, how 'bout it?
  1. Trapped Under Ice -Metallica: The baddest-ass fucking band, back when they used to be bad-assed and not a bunch of primp and primmed pussy willows. Now-a-days, they couldn't even open for Grim Reaper, but once upon a time, this band could rip your fucking heart out and show it to you before you died...with music.

  2. Numba One Stunna - The Big Tymas: As far as Crunk goes, this is the crunkest. How can you not love a song with lines like, "James Bond, Jackie Chan, and that Bitch MacGuyver," or "I like to get 'em in the ass while you beat up the pussy." Genius. I keep trying to get the OSU marching band to learn this one for gameday.

  3. Rocket Queen - Guns and Roses: How often do you find a song that's good to both fuck to, and lift weights to? This is one of them.

  4. Soul Meets Body - Death Cab for Cutie: The softer side of Coach loves himself some Death Cab. I don't know what it is about these guys. The lyrics are so honest.

  5. Computer Love-Kraftwerk: Fred Armisen had a Kraftwerk song,Pocket Calculator on his playlist. I gotta say, I thought that was pretty cool. This is another good song off the same album. Sometimes I like to put on a black leotard and really explore my space.

  6. Trucker's Atlas - Modest Mouse: Not a big fan of their new album, but AJ Hawk has been into them since forever, and he turned me on to their older shit. Fuckin' Kick ass song.

  7. More than a Feeling - Boston: This used to be me and Mrs. Tressel's song. What happened to us?

  8. Clampdown-The Clash: This song is about not taking shit from anyone. Fuck you, Charlie Weiss.

  9. Modeling Sucks-Handsome Boy Modelling School: Another band that used to be sweet, but now they sold out and totally suck. Still, this is one of the funniest tracks off of one of the great albums in Hip-Hop history.

  10. Some Girls-The Rolling Stones: "Black girls wanna get fucked all night, but I ain't got that much Jam." I know how you feel, Mick. Now fucking retire already. You and Paterno, I swear.

  11. Brother Love's Travellin' Salvation Show - Neil Diamond: The Jewish Elvis. The man is a god. He still rocks btw. Good to see him team up with Rick Rubin.

  12. Entertain-Sleater Kinney: These chicks are hot. Guess what? I fucked 'em. True story. Good music to work out to.

  13. Strawberry Letter 23-Shuggie Ottis: This song always reminds me of that scene from Jackie Brown, where Sam Jackson stuffs Chris Tucker in the trunk drives around, then shoots him. I've always wanted to do that to Chris Tucker, but I guess Krenzel will have to do.

  14. Against All Odds-Phil Collins: Say what you will about Phil Collins, this song has gotten me through some tough times.

  15. Little Sister-Queens of the Stoneage: I couldn't end the list with Phil Collins. Had to go out on a rock-out. Dig the cowbell.

Well that's it. That's my mix. Hope you like it. If not, fuck you!!! Check back later for updates. I might add some songs.BTW, special thanks to all you Michigan fans who left Coach Jimmy some love the other day. I don't care what they say, you're not all fags, at least not in my book. Wait...yes you are. And to my fellow chronic masturbators, you gotta stop, seriously. I'm trying. Lord, I'm trying. Also, the wife's still MIA. I'm starting to worry. I'm out of clean underwear and canned soup.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who know whats very very gay Coach Jimmy?


2:54 PM  
Blogger darthmoridin said...

This is the funniest fucking thing I've read since Blogger took down Michael Bay's blog. Thanks!

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What about Moistboyz IV? That tune "roy" didn't make it? Where's the love for Southern Ohio?

7:03 PM  
Anonymous Pete Carroll said...

Jimbo...The song is called Strawberry Letter 22, you fuckin' weeb. Check out the Postal Service cover of Against All Odds, by the way. I was surprised it didn't make your list.

8:37 AM  
Anonymous kamagra oral jelly said...

Excellent list, I love to see Metallica as number one, it is indeed a kick ass band, and that song is so great.

6:42 AM  

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