All I want is a hovercraft...

Hovercrafts are so fucking sweet. Seriously, what can't you do with a hovercraft? They're the coolest vehicles because you can go on land, or water. The other day I was sitting in traffic, bumper to bumper gridlock, and all I could think was, "If I had a hovercraft the river would be my highway, my only obstacle would be my own inhibitions, and maybe some rocks." I tell ya, if I had a hovercraft, I could have done alot of good for those poor people in New Orleans. That's a fact, Jack. Hovercrafts really are the wave of the future. They're fuel efficient, and fun for the whole family. They're really good in the snow.

I just huffed a huge bag of ether.

If I had a hovercraft, I could take it out on the lake with my buddies. We could use them to waterski, or fish, or whatever. Maybe they too would buy hovercrafts. We could have hovercraft parties, maybe race them, or maybe we'd just dance around the lake in syncronized patterns, sort of like a parade. Is synchronized hovercrafting an olympic sport? It should be. Anyway, I don't know? I make a good living, but my damn wife, she just won't let me get one. Maybe I'll trade her in for a younger model...someone who likes hover crafts?

Ha ha, I'm just kidding, honey. Someday you, me, and our hovercraft will tour this great country via it's natural highway, the Mississippi/Ohio River system. Well, here's to dreaming. I guess until the day comes that I can take my hoover craft and retire on some forgotten lake in some pristine nook of rural America, I'll keep chipping away at that grindstone, reaching for that rainbow.