The Artistocrats

The other night I went to this play. Now, I'm a meat and potatoes guy; I like my entertainment simple. I don't go in for that performance art crap, but I gotta tell ya, this thing blew my mind.

Let me start by saying it's a family act, which is good, because as a family man I can tell yeah, it's hard to find good quality entertainment that you can enjoy with your loved ones. But fortunately there's the disney channel and this play.
First the father comes out. He's naked, and carrying a pot belly pig. After licking the pigs balls, he starts shitting a viscous spray of diarhea into a bucket, then his wife comes out, and she's also naked, holding the family dog. She holds the dog up in the air, and lets it pee in her mouth, which she then procedes to gargle. Then the son comes out, I'd say he's about 5 years old. He starts playing the piano, while his sister rides a unicycle, periodically stopping to pull raw bacon out of her pants, feeding it to the pig, which is following her around on stage.

When the dad finally fills the bucket, (it's a big bucket) he takes it and dumps it on his sons head, and he starts singing "Mammy." The wife then takes her finger and runs up along the inside of her husbands ass crack, you know, a cardswipe, and procedes to whipe a hitler mustache on her husband, who starts goose stepping across the stage.

Meanwhile the daughter has been fisting the potbelly pig, like a puppet, but when her father finsishes his first lap across the stage, she procedes to stuff an m-80 up the pigs ass and light it. Did I mention the Pig had a pink ribbon tied around it? She then kicks the pig across the stage, where it explodes. The stage is now covered with shit, piss, and bits and pieces of pot bellied pig. The mother reaches between her legs pulls out a used tampon, and eats it.

Then they all wallow in the mess and fuck like filthy fucking animals.

Pretty great, huh? If this show comes to your town you should see it. It's called the Taft Family BarB-Q.