Has anyone seen my wife, by the way? Last time I remember seeing her was during the post Fiesta party. I'm out of clean towels, and I'm really starting to worry about her.
The other day I decided I was going to start writing a screenplay. It's a Sci-Fi Musical set in the year 3000, the story of an android football coach, who develops emotions. Everyone thinks he should go pro, you know, for the money, but he stays in college cause he cares so much about the kids. He's very selfless, and giving, due to a microchip his creator gave him. Also, in the off-season, he spends his nights pleasuring the queens of all the great powers of the galaxy...sexually, but by day, he fights zombie space pirates. I've kind of hit a wall, though, because if he's in space, how can there be night and day? Sort of mind-blowing, isn't it. Do you get jet-lag in space? If you're an android, do you even have to observe the rules of night and day? Maybe I'll ask my good buddy Dick Goddard.
One thing's for sure, I'm no Ray Bradbury. God, I wish the off-season would be over! The other day I ate an entire half gallon of chocolate brownie fudge ice cream. It was non-fat, but still, I feel like such a load. I tried to go out for jog with my new ipod, but I can never seem to make it more than two days in a row. I'm so lazy. I've got to stop jerking off. Once a day, Tressel, that's the limit.
On the bright side, SNL is getting pretty good. I really like the new cast. That Andy Samberg sure is a card. I love the sweedish chef ring-tones sketch. Man, that'd be sweet if you really could download those. Maurice could always do a pretty good swedish chef imitation. I can't imageine why he couldn't make it work with the Broncos, the kid was pretty good at impressions. His Mr. Burns was dead on. Maybe I should go visit him. I wonder if he could help me with my screenplay.
At the very least he could help me pick a title. So far I've narrowed it down to few options:
- Space Coach Coast to Coast
- The Coach Who Should Go Pro, You, Know, for the Money, But Won't Cause He Cares About The Kids, Due To His Microchip, In The Year 3000
- Jimmy Get Your Laser
- Intergalactic Sextastic Robo-Coach of Many Colors
- Fuck You, Charlie Weiss
Is it just me or is this year's Dancing with the Stars not as good?
I know I should update my blog more, seeing as how i'm so bored, but sometimes I don't think anyone reads it. I never get any comments. Does this mean no one cares what I have to say? Read the title, I got alot of things to say. So what if they're not about football. Fuck you guys.
I started baking my own bread. It's a lot of work, and makes a mess, but it sure makes the house smells good. Kind of makes me horny. Hey, I wonder what's on the Spice channel...