Ok, that was probably unnecessary. Still, it's been a rough week. Looks like it's going to be a lonely Thanksgiving for the Tressmeister. Sunday night, Krenzel came over to celebrate Saturday's big win. We were gonna watch the Simpsons, maybe play some video games, you know, the usual. He also brought over a six pack of High Life, a couple cans of spraypaint, and a paper bag.
Well, needless to say, we got pretty high, which was fun. Then, for some reason, Krenz starts rolling around on the floor, yelling something about how he's covered in spiders. To calm him down I doused him with the bucket we'd been peeing in. Next thing I know he's going nuts, like a China-Man in a bull shop, smashing shit, including my wifes collection of Franklin Mint commemorative plates. Needless to say she was not happy, and now I'm spending Thanksgiving in a Motel 6. The good news, it's got Spank-tra-vision. Still, it's kind of sad, that the highlight of my Thanksgiving is probably gonna be eating a can of pumpkin pie mix, and jacking off into an old gym sock. Fucking Krenzel.
You know what, though? That''s pretty harsh. I'm kinda hard on Krenz, but he's had a rough childhood. His family's had it's share of problems, and hey, the two of us have been through alot. I mean, we won a national championship together. I think lately he's been a little jealous of Troy, and with Holiday's approaching, it tends to compound his depression with him coming from a broken home and all. So Krenz, I forgive ya. And eventually, the misses will forgive you too, and probably me, as well. Maybe we can spend Christmas together, I don't know.
All this drama really brings out the creative side of Coach Jim Tressel. Last night I wrote this poem:
Your daddy likes his porno,
Now that mommy's not around.
She used to love her heroin,
But now she's underground.
So you stay up late at night,
And you do your coke for free.
Driving your friend's crazy,
With your life's insanity.
Well, well, well,
You never can tell.
Well, well, well, my Krenz-ell.