Why do men have nipples? I mean seriously. I wouldn't sell mine for the other half of that NCAA title. This question, came up while Lou Holtz, Maurice, Roy Lichtenstein, and I were watching Meet The Parents. Robert Deniro made a profound point. It's not like you can milk us, as cool as that would be.
Man Rocket Queen is a fucking kick-ass song.
Speaking of ass-kicking, I just bought a George Foreman Juicer. Man I'm fucking Juicing like Palmero. The other night I was making some smoothies, I emptied the fucking fridge in that mother fucker. Topped that bitch off with some sack sauce (a little trick i like to play on the misses).
I was thinking the other day, wouldn't it be great if there were ice cream mountains, cause then when they melt we'd have ice cream rivers.
What's the deal with all these fat chicks! Drop the wopper Sally and hit the sled for chrisakes!
This country could use a few less minorities. I mean jeeze, have you ridden a bus lately?
The other day I was at Cost-Co with the misses, we had to find a new remote because, her dog, Waffles, chewed the fuck out of it. I hate that dog, Man, what I wouldn't give for a sack of bricks and a bridge. So yeah, I'm looking for a new remote control for the TV, and I buy one, but have you ever tried to tried program one of those muther fuckers. I'll tell you, it's like Chinese Algebra, I was so stressed by the time I was done, I had to go pop a few beebees into my neighbors retarded kid. It's cool with him, cause I hook him up with free tickets.
Anyhoo, speaking of Chinese algebra little Jimmy is hard as a fucking rock. I'm going to go chase the misses around. If she outruns me, I guess i can pop one off to the Sears Catalog Underwear Section.
Your Friend in Christ,